On New Years Eve I did something that had been playing around in my mind for a while. It made me sad (and still does a little), but I wanted to enter 2015 with a clean slate. I knew this year was going to be a tough one and I needed to be surrounded by people who were going to be on my side.
So what did I do? I deleted three of my oldest friends from my phone and unfriended them on Facebook. There was no drama or confrontation, I simply clicked the delete button. It had taken me a long time to realise it, but these girls weren’t my friends anymore, not in any real sense of the word. I could count on one hand the number of times I had seen them in the past five years and when I looked back at text conversations they were almost always initiated by me, unless they wanted something. When you try to arrange a meet up and the response is, “I don’t know what my plans are yet”, you know you’re not a priority!
As you get older it’s hard to fit everything in. When you have a family, and a career, (a blog) it’s difficult to find the time to spend with your friends and one thing I’ve started to feel is that my time is too precious to spend with people who don’t really care. If I am going to spend time on a weekend separated from my beautiful son it’s got to be worth it.
When I first started blogging I had no idea of the bloggy world and never expected to find people who would make me want to get on a train down to London because I was so eager to meet them. But that’s exactly what happened on Saturday.
Several times on Friday I contemplated pulling out and staying home, curling up in bed, and feeling sorry for myself. I was nervous, what if people were different to what they were like online, what if I got my bag nicked (rational thoughts that go through my mind when I think about coming to London). Something inside me was nagging away that I would regret it if I didn’t go.
I’m so glad I did. Despite being worried I would be counting down the minutes until it was time to go home when it was time to leave I was sad to be going. It’s strange and comforting to be surrounded by people who know so much about your life. Whilst I have been a little disappointed by a couple of my friends who I haven’t heard from for several weeks, women I have never met before headed over with a hug and a chat and genuine concern.
Whilst the number of friends I may have once had has decreased, the ones that are still around I value more than anything. The events of the past month have only reinforced how grateful I am to have some amazing women in my life. Women who are beautiful (inside and out), intelligent, strong, inspiring and brave. Women I am so proud to call friends.
Thank you Life As Our Little Family for letting me borrow your photo!