Friendships, Old And New

On New Years Eve I did something that had been playing around in my mind for a while. It made me sad (and still does a little), but I wanted to enter 2015 with a clean slate. I knew this year was going to be a tough one and I needed to be surrounded by people who were going to be on my side.

So what did I do? I deleted three of my oldest friends from my phone and unfriended them on Facebook. There was no drama or confrontation, I simply clicked the delete button. It had taken me a long time to realise it, but these girls weren’t my friends anymore, not in any real sense of the word. I could count on one hand the number of times I had seen them in the past five years and when I looked back at text conversations they were almost always initiated by me, unless they wanted something.  When you try to arrange a meet up and the response is, “I don’t know what my plans are yet”, you know you’re not a priority!

maya

As you get older it’s hard to fit everything in. When you have a family, and a career, (a blog) it’s difficult to find the time to spend with your friends and one thing I’ve started to feel is that my time is too precious to spend with people who don’t really care. If I am going to spend time on a weekend separated from my beautiful son it’s got to be worth it.

When I first started blogging I had no idea of the bloggy world and never expected to find people who would make me want to get on a train down to London because I was so eager to meet them.  But that’s exactly what happened on Saturday.

Several times on Friday I contemplated pulling out and staying home, curling up in bed, and feeling sorry for myself.  I was nervous, what if people were different to what they were like online, what if I got my bag nicked (rational thoughts that go through my mind when I think about coming to London).  Something inside me was nagging away that I would regret it if I didn’t go.

I’m so glad I did.  Despite being worried I would be counting down the minutes until it was time to go home when it was time to leave I was sad to be going.  It’s strange and comforting to be surrounded by people who know so much about your life.  Whilst I have been a little disappointed by a couple of my friends who I haven’t heard from for several weeks, women I have never met before headed over with a hug and a chat and genuine concern.

Whilst the number of friends I may have once had has decreased, the ones that are still around I value more than anything.  The events of the past month have only reinforced how grateful I am to have some amazing women in my life.  Women who are beautiful (inside and out), intelligent, strong, inspiring and brave.  Women I am so proud to call friends.

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Thank you Life As Our Little Family for letting me borrow your photo!

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24 Comments

  1. Potty Mouthed Mummy
    March 17, 2015 / 9:32 am

    Oh sob. Lovely Jo, these words could come from my hand. All those emotions perfectly put into this post and make me so very glad to have known you through blogging and having met you now in person. To have you as a friend is wonderful and it makes me sad that people wasted that. Thanks so much for linking to #countluckystars xx
    Potty Mouthed Mummy recently posted…Count Your Lucky Stars | MarchMy Profile

  2. March 17, 2015 / 9:35 am

    It’s a big step isn’t it deleting people you’ve known for years but sometimes you do just grow apart. I’m glad you had such a lovely time Saturday & can’t wait to see you properly in April xxx
    Beth Twinderelmo recently posted…For My HusbandMy Profile

  3. March 17, 2015 / 9:38 am

    It was so lovely meeting you Jo. And how brave to clean out your friends list – there is not point having people in your life who make you feel bad about yourself. Onwards and upwards xxx #countyourluckystars
    Complicated Gorgeousness recently posted…OMG Mum you are just so cringe!My Profile

  4. March 17, 2015 / 10:01 am

    Such an inspirational post, I know I defiantly need to take a leaf out of your book!
    Time is precious and friends shouldn’t have to be hard work or a battle.
    Thank you for this post it has made me think about my situation
    x

  5. Life at the Little Wood
    March 17, 2015 / 2:39 pm

    Oh JoJo! You are just the loveliest person. I feel very lucky to know you! It was just brilliant seeing you on Saturday, I’m so glad you came too. Excited for the next time now! Gorgeous post lovely xx

  6. March 17, 2015 / 2:58 pm

    This is a lovely post. It always interests me to see how friendships change as we get older. I have a few friends who are pretty self-centred and it is really hard work. It sounds like you have made the right decision. I am so glad you went on Saturday. It looks like you had a great day. Blogging friends are the best. Hugs Mrs H xxxx
    Mrs H recently posted…My Sunday photo – daffodilsMy Profile

  7. March 17, 2015 / 3:08 pm

    What a brave, and wise, thing to do. It can be hard to see when we aren’t really connected to people anymore, but friendships do change, and some aren’t meant to last forever. Lovely post Jo xx
    Sara (@mumturnedmom) recently posted…My ThreeMy Profile

  8. March 17, 2015 / 3:44 pm

    I can totally relate to this as I did the same thing as you just before T was born – deleted people from FB. They knew where I was if they wanted me but instead it caused WW3 and a whole heap of bitterness. Since then though I have found a wonderful world of friends in blogging.
    So sorry I couldn’t make it on Saturday, looks like you all had a wonderful time x

  9. March 17, 2015 / 7:58 pm

    I can relate to this post in so many ways. I have made some amazing friends through having the boys and the friends who I thought were, one who was my bridesmaid :-(, doesn’t bother and like you its me always initiating meets and her cancelling or being to busy. The friends that stay through tough times are friends for a lifetime xx
    Something Crunchy Mummy recently posted…Mr CMy Profile

  10. March 17, 2015 / 8:54 pm

    Lovely post and such an important lesson to learn for all of us, however hard it is to follow through with those gut instincts. It was really lovely to meet you, I’m glad you didn’t back out at the last minute! I too have the weird, irrational thoughts and get nervous about travelling on my own but I’m always really glad that I’ve done it in the end. It’s almost an achievement isn’t it? Well done. Onwards and upwards! x
    Suzanne3childrenandit recently posted…The Truth About: ExpectationsMy Profile

  11. March 17, 2015 / 10:27 pm

    I actually don’t feel like I have friends I want to delete out of my life but it does feel like most of my best friends in the world are so out of my life one way or another – distance, work, lives being very different – everyone has gone away and built new relationships into their everyday lives and where would I ever fit into that? That’s what I find myself thinking. I wish I could have made it on Saturday although I would have worried about it too! Glad you finally got to meet some lovely people Xx
    Sam recently posted…The Truth about… #19My Profile

  12. March 18, 2015 / 10:53 am

    It’s so true that friendships change and ones you thought were important, show no interest in your new life and especially your children that it makes you think if they really are friends. You were very brave to do it! I’m glad you had a fab time meeting blogger friends – I’d love to meet some one day soon! #sharewithme

  13. March 18, 2015 / 12:41 pm

    This is really wonderful and so beautifully written. In the past I have felt it is a bad thing to move on from friends but life changes, we change and we need different people in our lives and other people need us. I personally think that is beautiful. Every New Year’s Eve I go through my phone and my Facebook friend list and delete people that I shouldn’t really be on there. It may sound weird, but it makes me feel refreshed! xx
    Esther @ Inside Out and About recently posted…How can we teach our children to value what they have?My Profile

  14. March 18, 2015 / 2:06 pm

    Good for you for deleting them! That’s got me thinking as I’ve been feeling quite down about some of my friendships lately. Things change a lot when you have your own children. That saying is spot on! x #sharewithme

  15. Jenny
    March 18, 2015 / 8:22 pm

    Oh Jo I absolutely love this and so true. I can’t count how many friend cleanses I have had over the years and its always lead me to more positive life and less drama. I am glad you have close friends you can count on hunny. Blogging has done that for me too and my online friends have become real life friends (including you) we need that coffee and I can’t stand a one side friendship it’s hardwork and unfair. Good for you. I know this year will be tough and we are all here for you darling. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme
    Jenny recently posted…Share With Me ~ #11My Profile

  16. March 19, 2015 / 2:04 am

    I had no idea about the blogging community when I started, either! I’ve only been at it since September but I’ve already “met” a handful of people that I would totally look up if I was in the area where they lived.

    #sharewithme
    Jenny @ Unremarkable Files recently posted……But If NotMy Profile

  17. March 20, 2015 / 11:22 am

    Such a strong post. I have been alone for the longest time now and have no friends but I do get those worried email from friends that I have met thru blogging world. And I am always touch by this short messages. #ShareWithMe
    Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) recently posted…Word of the Week : Broken!My Profile

  18. March 20, 2015 / 4:53 pm

    Ah, I love this, I know exactly what you mean and feel the same way too! So pleased to have found the blogging world, there’s so many lovely bloggers out there that I wish I’d gone to school with 🙂 #sharewithme
    Stephs Two Girls recently posted…Race For LifeMy Profile

  19. March 20, 2015 / 11:07 pm

    You beautiful lady you. A beautiful post. I feel exactly the same and thought the same on Friday but for different reasons. You are a lovely person, with a beautiful family and a gorgeous little blog. You were right to turn your back on friends. Life is too short to waste time on people who just don’t care enough. Have a lovely weekend sweetie and thank you for supporting our linky #countluckystars x x
    life as our little family recently posted…Getting Ready For A Mummy DayMy Profile

  20. March 21, 2015 / 9:52 am

    What a lovely post, friendships are difficult and, sadly, 2015 has seen the end to some friendships for me, like you I just realised that that it wasn’t friendship anymore it was just nothing. It sad but it also creates mental space for other exciting things. Sounds like you had a great time in London and that is a lovely photo =)
    Jenni – Odd Socks and Lollipops recently posted…To boob or not to boob?My Profile

  21. March 23, 2015 / 8:34 am

    The best thing about starting a blog has been making new online friends, for me, and then meeting them in real life. Well done for getting on and meeting folk, onwards and upwards! #sharewithme

  22. March 23, 2015 / 2:44 pm

    Aaaw it was so good to meet you Jo! I agree that it can only help your life getting rid of toxic people, or people who are no longer adding anything to your life. It’s sad but people and life moves on. Much better for the soul to be surrounded by positive people and people who ‘get’ your current way of life and who you are xx
    Becky | Spirited Puddle Jumper recently posted…House Renovation News- Loft Conversion Go-Ahead!My Profile

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