Dear Teacher, Please Notice Him

Dear Teacher

Last week saw my precious boys first official day at your pre-school.  I dropped him off on Thursday lunchtime and walked home feeling like I was missing an arm.  At 3pm I excitedly came to pick him up and asked you the inevitable question, “How did he get on?”

Your response was: “Good as gold, we hardly knew he was here!”

With those few words my heart sank and have haunted me ever since.  Your words confirmed one of my greatest fears about my little man entering the education system.  I’m a teacher, I know what happens to the good kids.

They spend their school days sat next to the naughties being the good influence.  They’re the kids who quite often don’t get spoken to by the teacher because they can be trusted to get on with things without causing a fuss.  They don’t go on the reward trips because the little sod who acts up every lesson gets a positive point every time he remembers to bring a pen.  They’re the kids who everyday do exactly what is asked of them without ever hearing a Well Done from anyone.

In that moment, I realised something.  I don’t want him to be a good boy if it means you never noticing him.  I don’t want you to have to look up his picture before Parents Evening to make sure you know you’re talking about the right child.

I fear for my little boy as he gets closer to school age.  I watched him at your preschool visit as he desperately tried to get your attention to show you his picture.  I watched him with his hand up so enthusiastically to tell you what words began with a B, but you were distracted.  Busy telling the boy on the other side of the circle to stop throwing flour.

I fear that over time his enthusiasm will start to wane.  That hand that shoots up so high right now will gradually begin to droop until one day it stops going up at all.

Let me tell you something about my son. He’s a people pleaser, he’s trusting, he’s bright (or at least I think so), he loves football and animals.  He can recognise and name almost every airline that flies out of Manchester Airport.  He will tell you all of this himself if you give him the chance to.

I know you are busy and I know it’s difficult when you have 20 or more kids to look after (believe me, I know).  There will always be some that demand more attention than others, but that little boy is my world and he is certainly not invisible.  Please don’t forget he’s there!

Yours sincerely

A Worried Mummy

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And then the fun began...

59 Comments

  1. January 13, 2015 / 8:01 am

    I never thought about the fact that the well-behaved children must often get less attention. My little girl started preschool last week too – definitely felt like a bigger step for me than her though! Hope your little boy gets the attention he needs too without having to misbehave in order to get it.
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  2. January 13, 2015 / 9:20 am

    So true, my teen was going away with High School last year & was really disappointed not to be in room with friends. Our boy is so easy going Teacher admitted they needed someone in with these other boys, we got it changed. That’s happened lots of times, he’s not there to keep other people happy.
    I wouldn’t change him though Jo & you wouldn’t either, lovely boys. x
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  3. Potty Mouthed Mummy
    January 13, 2015 / 10:10 am

    Oh 🙁 I hadn’t really thought about it like this at all, but it is all so true. A beautiful post lovely xx
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    • January 13, 2015 / 10:23 am

      I went back into work on Friday and made a point of speaking individually to every child I teach, the good and the not quite so good kids. Every one of them is someones baby, I need to remember that! xx

      • Sharon
        January 16, 2015 / 9:09 am

        dear Not a frumpy mum!
        What a lovely and considerate mum and teacher you are! Everything you said rand true for me, I understood you perfectly but never actually heard anyone say that so succinctly before! I don’t have children but I actually recognised myself in the child you were describing. Its actually very comforting to know that there are people out there as intuitive as yourself! I wish your son all the luck in the world for his journey through school and with your full support I’m sure he will thrive and grow and be a very happy young man who will continue to spread the love and caring onto the people in his life as you have done xxx thank you for being you and passing it forward xxx

  4. Beth Twinderelmo
    January 13, 2015 / 11:35 am

    Sigh. This is how I feel. When C comes home and tells me who he has been paired with I often feel he’s left to babysit which is unfair. It’s true – being nice often doesn’t get you anywhere! Whilst I’m happy he’s thought of as having good manners etc a part of me definitely wants this to be acknowledged and appreciated more
    Post is spot on – as always!! xx
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  5. January 13, 2015 / 12:16 pm

    Awww! I have actually just come back from visiting a pre-school this morning! It is scary stuff! I hope he settles in OK and he doesn’t get forgotten..he sounds like a very bright boy with lots to say if he is given the chance. x
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  6. Georgina
    January 13, 2015 / 12:40 pm

    If you are so worried, move him!

    I can tell you for sure that many many many schools and teachers out there are most certainly NOT like this

  7. January 13, 2015 / 1:57 pm

    This is a beautiful post. You are spot on, too. My girl’s in Reception and is good as gold every day. I’ve seen her there doing exactly as she should, having a go at everything, helping her friends when they’re struggling and she’s like a whirlwind at tidy up time helping the teacher and TA out. But she doesn’t get the praise or recognition. Why would she when she’s always good? I don’t know what the answer is. Fortunately, she’ll keep going regardless, as it the nature of the child, but my son, my son who’ll start nursery in September, this is my fear for him. I do hope your son gets the attention he deserves soon xx
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  8. Trudi Tilley
    January 13, 2015 / 2:24 pm

    I WAS that good kid. By the age of 7 I was a permanent feature on the table of ‘naughty boys’ to keep them in line. Other kids in the class called me bossy. I felt I didn’t have a choice to be anything else as I wanted to please my teacher. Over the years I felt more and more overlooked. Throughout my entire academic lifetime I never received an award, a special mention or a pat on the back. By the time I was 14/15 I gave up. I stopped trying to please others. I stopped doing other kids’ homework – yes, I know. I didn’t put my hand up in class. Thirty-odd years later and I still wish that SOMEONE had taken the burden of being The Good Kid off me every now and again or, at the very least, rewarded me with some sort of recognition instead of giving That Kid Who Managed To Write An Entire Essay For The First Time When He Was 13 a prize. Bitter? Moi?!

    • darrell hall
      January 14, 2015 / 9:32 am

      I see where you are coming from here and I agree that every child should be equal in the eyes of the teacher. However, I have two children and one is a well behaved childcat school even winning an award for it this year and my younger boy is the opposite. The fact is there shouldn’t be an either or situation here, the teachers should give equal time to all children. I know you are going to refer go not having the time due to government cuts etc and I agree. So strike until there is enough resources or better yet let’s abolish private schools and watch the state system improve overnight. Also, please remember the many of the naughty kids don’t want to be naughty, read ” the explosive child” to see what I mean.

  9. January 13, 2015 / 2:26 pm

    I feel the same Jo! My 5yo is an angel at school but real challenge at home, not helped by what goes on at school. She bangs her head at least once a week, gets pushed in the playground because she’s in her own world and her best friend is sometimes hideous towards her, but at parents evening her teacher basically said she’s just very sensitive. Apparently there are a few of them like it in her class (was that meant to be comforting?) Not exactly what we wanted to hear…
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  10. Jenny
    January 13, 2015 / 2:43 pm

    Ignoring the good kids is bad teaching in my book. Why ignore them when they are demonstrating exactly the behaviour you want for your classroom? If you want kids to learn how to behave, what better way than to show them a living example, right in front of them?
    I’m a teacher and it is the challenging kids who get ignored in my classroom – I will not give attention to misbehaviour. In contrast, the good kids get praise, privileges, smiles, all of my good nature and humour because they are who make my day bright. They may not get the stupid star of the week bullshit that we’re forced to churn out, but that’s not a problem I think because what they really want is my respect and comradeship, and they definitely get that. In a good school with decent teachers the good kids don’t get pieces of paper they get the pride and self-respect of knowing how much their teachers value and appreciate them and their hard work. I’m sure you know as a teacher yourself how hard it is not to beam when you see your good kids coming through the door in the morning – they are a ray of sunshine, and they know it.

    • Helen
      January 13, 2015 / 10:09 pm

      I would love to have you as my sosn’s teacher!

      • Susan. White
        January 14, 2015 / 2:08 pm

        Good on yer ! My sentiments exactly as a primary school teacher for over 30 years,in my opinion you are spot on .

    • Lara
      January 14, 2015 / 1:13 pm

      Good reply Jenny. I was a good kid, and yes, the reward was always the comradeship and respect of the teachers, not the stars. And I was one of those children sat right next to the naughtiest boy in class too. It probably balanced out my “goody two-shoes attitude” a bit and didn’t stop me from getting to Oxford University from a state school!

  11. January 13, 2015 / 2:47 pm

    I completely agree, my son was being hit at preschool and told me about it, after I complained he then said the child hitting him was getting reward stickers. I kept complaining as my sons confidence ebbed away and their solution was me to change my days he was in preschool so he wasn’t in with the other child or to plonk my son on the computer as he was good and would sit nicely.
    They were particularly bad and I understand bad kids need help but what about the good kids, they didn;t even notice my childs personality change and the detriment the other child was having on his confidence because they never took the time to know my child because he was good.
    My daughter is not so good and a handful and I am wondering whether to let her be a bit naughty so she doesn’t have the same neglect in preschool. Hope it gets better x x
    I do understand not all teachers are the same but where is the fairness, it sends a very bad message.
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  12. January 13, 2015 / 2:52 pm

    I really hope this isn’t true and so far my ‘good boy’ doesn’t appear to have been overlooked (although we’re only in reception so obviously early days yet!). Although whilst he’s good, he certainly isn’t quiet and has a large personality which I hope will continue to make the difference it appears to have so far. Fingers crossed for teachers like you that recognise that this can be an issue!

  13. Karla Grant
    January 13, 2015 / 4:08 pm

    I know how you feel. My dd, now 13, when she was in primary school, was quiet and obedient, didn’t make a fuss and became a bit of a doormat for the teachers and the children in her class. She never got awards on prize-giving day at the end of the school year, although she got plenty of the meaningless ones that everyone got for taking part in something. I used to get quite cross at those school functions. However, when we moved out of the area a few months after the beginning of the school year, suddenly, I think, people began to notice. They had a special assembly for her, they presented her with gifts and a photo album of her time at the small school (38 children total), a photo collage, and finally took some notice of her.

  14. January 13, 2015 / 5:01 pm

    Bless your heart. My son is one of these too but he’s started acting up just a little and you know what? I’m not ashamed. Someone is finally noticing him! He’s a bright kid too but if they don’t get noticed, they don’t bother engaging with the teacher or the work. Your boy sounds lovely. x
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  15. January 13, 2015 / 5:13 pm

    I’ve never thought about this before – I guess my eldest is generally a good boy but I think he will probably have trouble with concentrating and is likely to be average at his learning – I hope that means he gets some help and attention. I have heard of schools that have what they call a ‘Gifted and Talented’ programme which is meant to address this kind of issue where the more apt pupils also get some time and attention and the chance to excel too… Thanks for linking up to #thetruthabout Xx
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  16. January 13, 2015 / 5:38 pm

    Aw, what a moving post. I never really thought about how the good kids don’t get attention before. I’ve been too busy obsessing about how my August-born boy will keep up. We all have our concerns don’t we? It’s such scary time, handing them over to the establishment. I still haven’t come to terms with it. I totally get the worry that his enthusiasm will wane. I have that same fear, born out of different reasons mind you. I worry that my little man will lose confidence cos he’s naturally young for his age and his year. Here’s hoping we are both worrying about nothing and they thrive. Great to discover your blog properly #thetruthabout
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  17. January 13, 2015 / 7:44 pm

    i have a good girl and share your concerns. It doesn’t get better. We’re at the other end of the school – Year 6 and my compliant clever sweet girl has had little recognition during her time in primary. I wrote about it here on my blog (http://mahoganysoup.com/when-even-muffins-fail-disappointment-at-the-school-gate/). I came to the conclusion that she was going to have to get her praise and rewards from home instead. Good luck.
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    • Alison Monday
      January 13, 2015 / 9:52 pm

      My lovely quiet hard-working dd has just started secondary. Throughout primary she complained she felt invisible, apart from in year 4 when she clicked with the teacher and really came out of her shell. End of school awards all went to the popular sporty ones or the usually naughty caught being good ones… she left without a backwards glance in the end.
      Anyway, before Christmas she came home with her report, which seemed quite good but we had nothing to compare it with. A few days later we got a letter through the post from her head of year, telling us her hard work and positive attitude had been noted and how pleased they were to have her at their school!! How proud are we? And thrilled she has finally been noticed and is no longer invisible 🙂
      I hope it happens for your children sooner rather than later, dd really needed a boost…

  18. Teacher77
    January 13, 2015 / 8:52 pm

    I’m a primary teacher and once a term hold a playtime tea party for those chn who always do the right thing. I give them invitations and bring in pop corn, juice and biscuits. We put on any music they choose. They love it and it is so good to acknowledge their impeccable behaviour. It spurs the others on to be good too 🙂

    • January 13, 2015 / 8:54 pm

      That is such a lovely idea, I really hope my boy has a teacher like you when he starts school. I bet your kds really look forward to their parties x

    • Lou
      January 14, 2015 / 8:12 am

      That’s a fantastic idea!

  19. Notmyyearoff
    January 13, 2015 / 9:26 pm

    Wow brilliNt post. I worry a lot about this. Z just blending into the background. I live in a teeny tiny town and his new school seems to be just one building all on the ground floor. Im hoping this means it’s small classes which means he gets more attention. I’m so impressed your O knows all the airlines!!

  20. June
    January 13, 2015 / 11:01 pm

    I have witnessed this for many years and have had numerous arguments/debates on the subject. Even heard “good” pupils say they might as well be naughty cos they get more rewards, both in primary and secondary. Its a joke.

  21. June
    January 13, 2015 / 11:05 pm

    Every child in your class is someones whole world, I printed these out from google and gave them out to teachers.

  22. January 14, 2015 / 7:54 am

    Goodness this brought a tear to my eye. You are so right about this, it makes me so cross and so sad, like you it also terrifies me!!!! This is such a good post.
    I wish there was something we could do to change this, but really unless we have ‘the naughty kid’ (which is also a terrible fear of mine!) it will never change!!
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  23. January 14, 2015 / 7:54 am

    My Daughter is now 11 and this could have been written about her. For years she has been put with the naughty boys so that they can learn how to behave from her. How can they not see that if behaviour rubs off one way it then it will rub off the other way.

    In year 2 my Daughter started misbehaving and i asked her why….she said that x always gets stickers when he is good after he misbehaves and is then good.

    I took her to staples and bought £50 of stickers and every time she was good for me… i gave her a sticker. so by the end of day one she had ‘earned’ enough to cover her jotter. I told her that even if others dont see that she is a good girl, I always will. she knew that she got the red one for kindness the white one for helping with tea etc. She has a visual reminder on her desk all day, that shows I value her for exactly who she is. (we did loads of other stuff too)

    I also complained to the school and got a load of hogwash about how x had learning difficulties and needed rewards to keep him in line. I said…. so do all the other kids!

    things started to improve, but im not sure if it was what the school did or what i did at home
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  24. Lou
    January 14, 2015 / 8:11 am

    Both my kids have experienced being “invisible” as they are both good at school, get on with their classwork and don’t disrupt the class. Neither of them have been recognised for their good behaviour, whereas the disruptive kids are the ones that will get a merit certificate if they behave themselves for one day! So unfair. My daughter is regularly told to sit with the disruptive kids, I presume as a calming influence, and she hates this as they tease her when she’s trying to get on with her work.

  25. Worriedmum
    January 14, 2015 / 8:43 am

    My daughter is also one of these invisible kids and it breaks my heart. In foundation stage she came out of school sticker less every night whilst most kids were covered. At parents evening I told the teacher she loved stickers and was sad to never get any – she had told us you have to be naughty in the morning and good in the afternoon to get some – she wanted to do this. The teacher remarked how bright she was to have figured it out so quickly – but never gave her any stickers. Stuck with the naughty kids – who did not like her she struggled to make friends – she was not mixing with the kids most like her. Now in year 10 she is still struggling, still trying to be good, and not a real friend in sight, no party invites, no sleepovers. Lunchtimes spent eating on her own and miserable. Teachers need to be aware of the long term effects of these policies.

  26. darrell hall
    January 14, 2015 / 9:28 am

    I see where you are coming from here and I agree that every child should be equal in the eyes of the teacher. However, I have two children and one is a well behaved childcat school even winning an award for it this year and my younger boy is the opposite. The fact is there shouldn’t be an either or situation here, the teachers should give equal time to all children. I know you are going to refer go not having the time due to government cuts etc and I agree. So strike until there is enough resources or better yet let’s abolish private schools and watch the state system improve overnight. Also, please remember the many of the naughty kids don’t want to be naughty, read ” the explosive child” to see what I mean.

  27. darrell hall
    January 14, 2015 / 9:46 am

    Maybe we should try questioning what good and bad kids actually means. I personally believe and a large amount of sociological evidence backs me up that there are not good and bad people. Rather people behave in different ways for different reasons and our one size fits all attitude to schooling is the problem. State education seems to me to be heading backwards( not teachers fault usually) towards Gradgrind style schooling. I for one am not trying to raise little sheeple that conform to everything and follow the crowd. I teach my children how to think and not what to think. I have taught both my boys this and one is the teachers pet and the other is the opposite so I guess they all choose for themselves how to behave and which label they take on.

  28. Sarah
    January 14, 2015 / 9:55 am

    Your post is quite heartbreaking and I hope your son shines and is not ignored.

    I experienced this problem with my second child, she was bright and capable but quiet and slow. She was ignored so many times and missed out on a lot because she was just ‘too easy to forget’. It culminated in her moving school after Year 1 partly because that Christmas they made cakes – and again she was forgotten about and didn’t get to make a cake – I mean you know how many children there are in your class, how can you forget one child! That was the final straw. She was happier at her new school but I think her confidence had been knocked, she is now 12 and still has confidence issues despite being a bright student.

    My youngest child is 3 and will start reception in September, he is far more confident and nobody could deny he is in the classroom – he is not rude or nasty and plays/learns well, he is just more boisterous and I have encouraged him so that he does not get lost.

    I’m sure your son will be fine with your support but I understand it’s not how you want their first experience of the education system to be.

  29. jessica newman
    January 14, 2015 / 10:06 am

    I could have written this myself about my little boy, he’s such a lovely and wonderful boy and is a real people pleaser, i really want to see him shine and be given the encouragement to do so

  30. Lara
    January 14, 2015 / 1:03 pm

    After reading this, I felt I had to email my little sister who is a teacher to remind her of the good children in her reception class. I hope her reply makes some of you feel better:

    “Haha don’t worry little worrier! My good, quiet children get given raffle tickets and go into a prize draw at the end of the week, I pick them for star of the week in assembly, those that give good answers in class get either a high 5 or a big “whoosh” from the kids, noisy children go to the back of the line, and we do “Look at….” And then I say a child who is showing good behaviour, and the others have to copy ☺️ not all teachers ignore the the nice ones! xxx”

  31. Megan - Truly Madly Kids
    January 14, 2015 / 1:05 pm

    Such a lovely post which encapsulates Mother worry and guilt so well. I hope your little man is noticed at school and thrives #sharewithme
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  32. Cathy Clowes
    January 14, 2015 / 3:34 pm

    What a lovely, thoughtful post.
    I have a very bright, extremely well-behaved but rather shy 6 yr old and every time he has a new teacher I worry that he will get ignored. For a while this seemed to be happening this year, he wasn’t getting any recognition for achievements. Then things changed. Suddenly my son was rewarded with ‘work of the week’, was given the main part in his class Christmas play and at the end of term chosen to read in front of the whole school at their Carol Concert.
    Maybe we’re lucky that he’s at a school where everyone is rewarded. But I think that if you are patient then you will find that recognitions come. In the meantime, be proud of your son, let him know how proud you are and be proud of yourself for bringing up such a lovely child.

  33. Rachel @ Parenthood Highs and Lows
    January 14, 2015 / 3:36 pm

    As a teacher I used to try my hardest to pay attention to the ‘nice’ kids – but like you say in a class of thirty it is too easy to miss the good kids – my little boy who is at nursery school has just enough cheekiness to get noticed, but it shouldn’t be like that! #sharewithme
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  34. Jenny
    January 14, 2015 / 8:55 pm

    WOW what an amazing post hunny so many comments I can see why it was put on MUmsnet was it??? Congrats. This is my worse fear too and I get so nervous for my son to start school in sept because I am worried he will be the forgotten one because he is the easy one. The one that’s more independent and listens well. Scary thought isn’t it. Food for thought for sure. I love how you write too just beautifully. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. Sorry if you had any trouble commenting on my site today as the host is being transferred there are a few glitches to fix. Apologies. #sharewithme
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  35. January 14, 2015 / 9:01 pm

    Wonderful post and great to read it from your point of view, as both a teacher and a mummy. Entrusting your childs care and education to somebody else is hard for so many reasons! Xx
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  36. January 14, 2015 / 9:34 pm

    This made me well up! What a little angel you have, I hope he gets all the attention he deserves. I think keeping a line of communication with the teacher will be important to give you some reassurance that he is not being overlooked for good behaviour. x
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  37. Fiona @ Free Range Chick
    January 14, 2015 / 10:02 pm

    Wow, this is something that I had never even considered before. It is now forcing me to consider what place my children will have in school. It is too early to tell how my younger child will be (he’s 19 months old), but my elder child is not long past his 3rd birthday, and attends nursery once a week. His teacher tells me that he is very chatty and smart. I don’t hear anything about bad behaviour, so I don’t believe that he causes ‘trouble’. At home he has his moments of marvellous as well as angry, tired strops. Rightly or wrongly, I’m now trying to picture where he would fit in in school.

    If you’d have put this topic to me before, I would have probably suggested that it didn’t really matter if he got noticed or not at school. My (possibly naive) argument would have probably been that if I teach him to be ‘good’ and do well for his own benefit, and not for the purpose of gaining praise, it wouldn’t matter to him if the teacher gave him oodles of attention. He’s there to do well for himself, not for his teacher’s benefit. I guess I just try to look at it from an adult’s point of view. We don’t live our lives so that we get praised all of the time, we do things because we have a personal desire to be good at something, or to achieve something. Rightly or wrongly, I wanted/want to teach my kids to have the same ethos – do stuff because it makes THEM feel good, not because us adults are going to clap our hands and say ‘well done’ all of the time.

    I don’t know. Maybe I’m going very wrong and should change my outlook. Either way, I’m now most confused and am beginning to consider many of the points you’ve so eloquently raised. A fantastic post (o:
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  38. January 14, 2015 / 11:03 pm

    Aww. I never even think about it like this, although it is really obvious I suppose. What a lovely post. Sounds like you have a little cracker there and with you to look out for him I am sure that he will get all the right attention that he deserves, for the right reasons xxx
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  39. January 15, 2015 / 12:01 pm

    Great post and I remember sharing so many of those worries when Bud was in nursery. He’s mild mannered and will never push himself forwards , he needs to be drawn in to a group. I was so worried that this would happen in Reception too but, just over a term in and he’s so happy and settled. He has a group of friends and both his teacher and TA seem to like him. He had a big part in the class Nativity play and, when we’ve had Parents Evening it’s clear that his teacher has got to know him and ‘gets’ him. Like so many other commenters have said, I think it depends on the teacher and the school. I chose ours because my niece and nephew went through the school, with similar personalities to my Bud, and emerged happy and confident children. I’m so pleased I did.
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  40. Merlinda (@pixiedusk)
    January 15, 2015 / 12:46 pm

    Like you I don’t want my son be invisible (he is). I want him to be seen and heard and be given a chance to shine as well. A chance to be the best that he can be in school. #sharewithme
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  41. January 15, 2015 / 11:12 pm

    Hello there, this is such a lovely and moving post. Our little boy is at pre-school and comes home saying and doing all kinds of things, it is quite frustrating at times! I have just done our school application and I hope our little boy has a teacher as thoughtful and considerate as you x #sharewithme
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  42. Life at the Little Wood
    January 16, 2015 / 7:01 pm

    Oh Jo!! I can relate to this so much, and know exactly what you mean about seeing things from a teacher’s perspective. I dread secondary school for my three. It keeps me awake at night! The only thing i can say is that i can’t ever imagine little O’s enthusiasm waning because he has a mummy that will encourage him at every opportunity and, as we well know, the foundations that are laid at home are the best ones to build an education on. Brilliant post lovely xxx

  43. January 17, 2015 / 1:38 am

    I totally agree, I hardly get any feedback from the teachers about my children in school, my daughter is a huge over achiever and I will sometimes get feedback when I ask, and at parents evening I get good feedback but I want them to tell me things, I want them to have noticed my child. My son I never get to hear from and when I ask it is always, “He’s fine” Never much more than that and it can get frustrating, but we shall see how it changes over the years as they get older!
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  44. January 17, 2015 / 7:52 am

    Love this bab. The reason why we have chosen my girl to go to a small school in Sept (fingers crossed) is that I want her to shine and I think that she will be one of the kids that is good and just melts into the background. I know I tend to only know the naughties or the really bright kids. I try to know everyone but it is so hard. Must try harder. I feel bad now 🙁 xxxxx
    brummymummyof2 recently posted…The Don’t Beat Yourself Up Guide To LabourMy Profile

  45. January 18, 2015 / 10:42 am

    This was always one of my biggest frustrations as a teacher- having enough time to focus on the kids who didn’t demand my attention too. And now as a parent I feel it more so. My daughter has not been star of the week for years and yet the difficult kids are awarded with it time and again. I know the reasons why but it doesn’t make it any fairer x x x x
    ghostwritermummy recently posted…Elsie’s tongue tie divisionMy Profile

  46. Elaine
    January 19, 2015 / 12:35 pm

    I fear that your fear and worry will negatively impact him more than being a good wee boy at school!
    My wee girls are good. They’ve been negatively impacted by being sat next to the naughties. But there’s more to life than who you sit next to at school! They do need to learn that life isn’t all about them and be praised by us for being good children.
    Let’s build them up into happy confident children by being an example of positive happy parenting

  47. Julia smith
    January 21, 2015 / 9:04 pm

    I always felt this way about my daughters education at primary school. But at her leavers assembly she was awarded the “good egg award” voted for by all the staff. Teacher stood up and congratulated her on being hard working, well mannered and always polite and helpful. It was a relief to know that just being consistently good hadn’t gone unnoticed

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