There’s no denying that kids love a phone, especially yours. You can’t fool them, they’re not interested in any of that plastic tat, they want the real deal. So you give in, you want to eat your pub dinner in peace and a shiny iPhone is as effective as a dummy was in those early days. It may even give you time for a second
bottle glass of wine.
You weigh it up in your mind, is the drink in peace worth the following:
1. You will have 53 photos in a row that look like this.
2. Your favourite app will be deleted and they will rearrange all your others so you spend the next week trying to get them back in order.
3. Your Facebook status will read GHGHFDGJBGYUIY&*^$^%$%DGH and they will unfriend at least 5 of your friends and telling someone your 3 year old accidentally defriended them is as convincing an excuse as the dog ate my homework.
4. Your once pristine screen gains scratches at an exponential rate, and it is constantly covered in grubby fingerprints.
5. They will be better than you at Angry Birds in no time.
6. There will be a tantrum of mammoth proportions when the wi-fi fails in the middle of their favourite Paw Patrol episode, and they really can’t understand why it won’t come back on
7. Double Tapping Instagram pics becomes a game. Faster, faster, faster.
8. You will have to explain every photo on your Instagram feed and then realise that is actually quite hard to do. “Who’s that?” “Ermmm, it’s the nephew of someone I have never met at their birthday party” or “What’s that?” “It’s a picture of someone else’s (who I’ve never met) bedside table”
9. Everytime you open your YouTube app you will be faced with the Disney Collector unwrapping eggs.
10. They will somehow manage to phone the police who will then come round to your house because the phone has lost signal and they are concerned that there is now no answer from you (True story, although it was reassuring how quickly they arrived I wish it hadn’t been whilst the guests from my neighbours daughters 6th birthday party were leaving!)
Yes, there’s a few downsides to your little darling getting their greasy mits on your phone but it may provide just enough entertainment for you to finish a conversation with your other half (if you want to obvs).