There’s no denying that kids love a phone, especially yours. You can’t fool them, they’re not interested in any of that plastic tat, they want the real deal. So you give in, you want to eat your pub dinner in peace and a shiny iPhone is as effective as a dummy was in those early days. It may even give you time for a second bottle glass of wine.
You weigh it up in your mind, is the drink in peace worth the following:
1. You will have 53 photos in a row that look like this.
2. Your favourite app will be deleted and they will rearrange all your others so you spend the next week trying to get them back in order.
3. Your Facebook status will read GHGHFDGJBGYUIY&*^$^%$%DGH and they will unfriend at least 5 of your friends and telling someone your 3 year old accidentally defriended them is as convincing an excuse as the dog ate my homework.
4. Your once pristine screen gains scratches at an exponential rate, and it is constantly covered in grubby fingerprints.
5. They will be better than you at Angry Birds in no time.
6. There will be a tantrum of mammoth proportions when the wi-fi fails in the middle of their favourite Paw Patrol episode, and they really can’t understand why it won’t come back on
7. Double Tapping Instagram pics becomes a game. Faster, faster, faster.
8. You will have to explain every photo on your Instagram feed and then realise that is actually quite hard to do. “Who’s that?” “Ermmm, it’s the nephew of someone I have never met at their birthday party” or “What’s that?” “It’s a picture of someone else’s (who I’ve never met) bedside table”
9. Everytime you open your YouTube app you will be faced with the Disney Collector unwrapping eggs.
10. They will somehow manage to phone the police who will then come round to your house because the phone has lost signal and they are concerned that there is now no answer from you (True story, although it was reassuring how quickly they arrived I wish it hadn’t been whilst the guests from my neighbours daughters 6th birthday party were leaving!)
Yes, there’s a few downsides to your little darling getting their greasy mits on your phone but it may provide just enough entertainment for you to finish a conversation with your other half (if you want to obvs).
I am laughing so hard at no8. H asks me all the time and I say “Oh it’s just a child, I don’t know them”. Um….. Amazing post lovely xxx
Potty Mouthed Mummy recently posted…Bloglovin | Why Do I Need It?
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Thank you Sianie. Doesn’t it sound really strange when you try to explain it to a 3 year old? No wonder he looks at me like I’m crazy and demands to watch racing cars xx
I am incredibly lucky that both LP and LM haven’t yet really used my phone. They know it’s mine and don’t touch it, other than to bring it to me if they think I’ve lost it x
Ha ha oh yes, the photos are a definite sign and FB too, my daughter plays on an app called Finger paint and regularly posts her ‘creations’ to FB with nonsense messages. Thank you for making me chuckle this morning.
Nikki Thomas recently posted…Baltic Cruises: A Tale of Four Cities
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I’d forgotten about that one, my son regularly posts “my” latest score to his Christsmas advent game on my Facebook (and its April). xx
Haha the other day the wifi wouldn’t work and z was about to have a meltdown about Bing Bunny. My work phone rang and he got all happy with “mummy will you tell them my Bing bunny isn’t working?”. Tapping Instagram pics is a massive love here too 🙂
Notmyyearoff recently posted…Dearest Little Z – Schools, Babies and Red Trainers
Hahaha this is so true! I have so many identical shots of the floor! And extremely grubby screens and angry birds pro. Every single one is spot on!! x
Haha! Fab! My little girl is scarily good at 20 months and only goes to her videos of herself and YouTube!!! It’s very scary as she ignores all my apps xx #thetruthabout
Sarah Howe @runjumpscrap recently posted…To Drink or not to Drink?
Nodding all the way here Jo! Mine is constantly sticky from grubby little paws. The Instagram thing must be weird for the kids, I get questioned a lot over this by my eldest. Can’t believe the police actually turned up, doh!!! xx
Mummy Tries recently posted…Do You Want to be a Better Parent?
Thankfully my phone is safe, it’s Daddys phone that gets the abuse! My toddler is also quite in to Spotify….we have many plays of the ‘happy’ song everyday! Popping over from #twinklytuesday
Another Bun recently posted…My Virtual Tribes
I love this, it’s so true. I’ve had zillions of photos of the floor , zillions of a fruit shoot and more recently, now they’re older , selfies!! Why they use my phone for this I’ll never know because they have their own iPod/Pad to do things like that on.
#TwinklyTuesdays
Kate recently posted…Enquiring Minds #6
Haha, love it. I never let my girls play with my phone, only if we are out somewhere and if they are REALLY bored, it is a last resort! Otherwise, if they have been good then they are allowed to play on the iPad.
I don’t understand why kids like those egg Youtube videos!
Beth | http://www.life-as-mum.co.uk
beth recently posted…Does It Get Easier Or Harder?
Lol, brilliant post and I can relate to a few of this definitley!
Helen – #twinklytuesday
Helen Gandy recently posted…Birth the 2nd Time Around.
Lol, love it – so very true! I had about 30 photos yesterday on my phone of my sofa after my 3 year old got hold of it. Thankfully I have yet to explain who everyone is on my Instagram feed but I can see how it would be a challenge! 🙂
Louise recently posted…What I learned at BlogCamp
haha sounds familiar!! I get dozens of photos of my sons nostrils, theres literally hundreds of them on the ipad! And if hes playing the CBeebies app, my phone always freezes on the andys dinosaur game – useful!
Haha! I can’t believe the police showed up, that’s so good 🙂 well, embarrassing maybe, but also reassuring x
Fiona recently posted…Read All About It: Traditional Outdoor Childhood Activities In Decline
Haha this is so funny. My littlest got to 99 today before I lurched like a maniac to grab the phone! #TwinklyTuesday
Katy {What Katy Said} recently posted…Growing Our Own Strawberries for Summer
Oh my gosh, this cracked me up!! The only one we haven’t had to deal with is the cops coming by! My little one is probably on my phone more than I am!
#thetruthabout
Brandyn Blaze recently posted…The Truth About…Beach Bodies
My kids don’t get my phone – ever! Evil mummy! 🙂 I have had to explain pics on Instagram or FB before though and it’s definitely as difficult as you describe it! JJ used to use my Kindle Fire all the time but we got him his own Hudl for Christmas – unfortunately our wifi signal is better in the front of the house and he gets really grumpy if the signal fades.. Thanks for linking up = #thetruthabout X
Sam recently posted…The Truth about… #23
This is hilarious 🙂 and so true. Sadly I remember the first time my little Monkey got hold of mine and he took his first picture… my first mistake oh aren’t you clever… doh! Then I downloaded the Gruffalo game which was my second mistake! I suppose its reassuring that they turned up and its one to remind him/embarrass him about on his 18th! #TwinklyTuesday xx
haha to angry birds (and the rest if it too). The phone is the ONLY way to get a slight lie in, in the mornings. Except I don’t have angry birds on mine so I have to tell him to use Daddy’s phone for that…*goes back to checking how much hasn’t happened on facebook overnight*…and that folks is how you do it.
Haha! But in exchange for being able to eat your food while still warm? I’ll take it!
#sharewithme
Mama, My Kid Doesn’t Poop Rainbows recently posted…Baby Led Weaning: Dos and Don’ts
My sister has lost the battle with her 2 year old on the phone issue although on her S5 she can activate the kids only feature shame she knows how to flip back to youtube herself haha. My phone is used to watch the mommie and gracie show by my daughter! Sometimes it’s worth the peace! #sharewithme
tracey bowden recently posted…Me and my Slimpod #Week2
Haha! So funny! Fortunately the boys never get their mitts on my phone — it’s always well out of reach! Plus it has a key-code on it… that said they already know to swipe the screen! Amazing — they’re only 2!!!! Thanks so much for linking up to #TwinklyTuesday
Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk
Caro | The Twinkles Mama recently posted…110 weeks and 6 days | Cool kids wallpaper
My 10 and 11 year old do all this never mind a toddler! Funny post. xx
Haha, number 8 is happening more and more frequently now! How do you explain that you have all these photos on your phone!! Mine is constantly smudged and sticky, drives me crazy but at the same time something I can’t face the battle to get it off them. Love that the police came round!! xx #sharewithme
Hayley @hayleyfromhome recently posted…Beauty for Busy Mums
Yes to every single one. Then when Gabe is bored of it he likes to throw it as far as he can and giggles if it smashes. And no he will not be fobbed off by a toy one. #sharewithme
Complicated Gorgeousness recently posted…18 ways you know summer is coming
Yep, sounds just about right!
Jenny @ Unremarkable Files recently posted…Your Favorite ’90s TV Shows Revisited
Haha, so true! I regularly have to explain to my daughter who all the people on Instagram are too and that I don’t actually know every single person who has a picture on the internet. She has also very nearly rung the police twice before when she was younger; luckily I cut it off before it actually rang! I also have lots of blurry selfies on my phone! Great post xx #sharewithme
Louise @ Birds and Lilies recently posted…The Healthy List – April
lol very true! love the story about the police too that’s hilarious, and so embarrassing! hehe 🙂 #thetruthabout
Caroline (Becoming a SAHM) recently posted…One of those weeks…
Hehe some of these are true for us, and I am sure the rest will be true when Boo gets a little older.
Boo has managed to make a voice controlled call on my phone – I don’t even know how to do that!?!
Jenni – Odd Socks and Lollipops recently posted…Wicked Wednesdays 29th April 2015
Love it. I have given up trying to beat big man at games now!
Louise Fairweather recently posted…Busy Busy Things That Go Review and Giveaway
am so lucky that my little ones have not discovered my iphone yet, although my baby boy does love to try and shove it in his mouth and dribble all over it x
Lindsay @ Newcastle Family Life recently posted…What I Would Say To A New Mum
Oh I chuckled at this – so true! What they won’t do to get their hands on that elusive phone….and we ALL give in without fail! Anything for a quiet life 😉
Suzanne3childrenandit recently posted…Best Friends Forever
Yep yep yep to all of these! x x
ghostwritermummy recently posted…As yet untold (#BIBs2015)
haha, love this!! My phone is generally full of toddler picking nose selfies!! #sharewithme
Gym Bunny Mummy recently posted…Grey & Yellow Toddler Bedroom Inspiration
I love this. It is so true. Little Miss H is almost two and I am amazed at how easily she can use my phone and iPad. My phone is always covered in gooey finger prints. And I’ve lost count of the number of people she has called. But they are always those “friends” that you have the number for but never actually want to talk to. Typical! Hugs Mrs H xxxx
Mrs H recently posted…My Captured Moment – To infinity and beyond!
This is SOOO true and just made me chuckle so hard. Oh gosh if B got a hold of one of those disney eggs to open it would be game over that’s all he would want to do forever. lol So I have been steering clear of letting them do that on my phone or ipad yet. hahaha Trying to prolong the innocence and keep them away from it as long as I can. lol So funny though!!!! Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme
Jenny recently posted…Interiors // Copper Home Accessories
Haha this did make me chuckle just because it’s all happened to me – apart from the police, think I’ve been lucky on the one. Will happen one day I’m sure #twinklytuesday xx
Something Crunchy Mummy recently posted…And the WINNER is……