If you don’t have kids you probably think going to the supermarket is a necessary but pretty boring job on your to do list. You don’t know how lucky you are. Enjoy it, the peaceful browsing of the aisles where your biggest problem is the old lady who takes too long to choose what yoghurt she wants.
Once you’ve had kids, the supermarket trip becomes the stuff of nightmares. If you have a newborn you’re still generally in the lucky group as they tend to sleep most of the way round, but once they hit the toddler stage, you need the arms of an octopus, eyes in the back and sides of your head and the patience of Mother Teresa. Sadly, I have none of these things so after today’s latest experience online food shopping will the way forward in our house.
I tried to butter O up with a yummy Tesco cafe lunch of sausage and chips. Honestly. I needed the caffeine to psyche myself up. After being the noisiest kid in there by a mile (prompting an elderly gentleman to come over and say “it isn’t easy, is it?”) I should have known this wouldn’t end well.
O needs trainers for his Rugbytots class so whilst I was trying to choose him a pair, he decides it’s time to play hide and seek! I kept him in view as he was only a meter or so away from me, but then suddenly he wasn’t there. That awful feeling for a split second when you can’t see your child is terrifying.
Luckily, 2 ladies were on hand to point me in his direction. O found this hilarious and after refusing to stay stood anywhere near me (despite several stern words in his direction) his fate was sealed and he was relegated to the trolley seat! My son hates being in the trolley seat so the soundtrack that accompanied my shopping was Cry Me A River, O’s special version!
Once we’d got to the tills I thought the worst was over and soon we could go home. This false sense of security resulted in the boy being let out of the trolley. After paying and heading towards the exit O decides he wants to be carried to the car. Now trying to carry a heavy toddler whilst also pushing a full trolley (of course, I’ve got the one with the wonky wheel which veers off to the right!) is a bit of a challenge so I put O down for him to walk. This is the moment he chooses to do his first ever lying down on the floor crying tantrum.
I am blocking the entire exit aisle with O and my trolley so behind me is gathering a pissed off audience who have no other way of getting out. I couldn’t bring myself to turn around as I tried to display at least a smidgen of control over my child without completely losing the plot. O was quickly scooped up and we headed out of there as quickly as we could. With a dodgy trolley, it wasn’t quick enough for my liking, but bless the lovely woman who helped steer the damn thing with me.
In the safety of my car I text hubby to tell him shopping was now out of the question with a terrible two, and filled him in on some of the highlights of the trip. My loving husbands response “Haha, that’s made me laugh. OK let’s try an online shop x”