8 reasons you will ALWAYS be late with a toddler!

I hate being late, hate it! This comes from my dad who will arrive anywhere at least 15 minutes ahead of schedule. Since having a child I have really had to learn to just roll with it and accept the inevitable, I will be late! To pretty much everything!

Just a handful of the reasons why:

1. They will always do a poo just as you are about to leave the house. This is especially annoying in winter as once all layered up you then have to undress, change and then re-apply the coat, hat, scarf etc! Just as you thought you may arrive somewhere on time, think again!

2. Today is the day they decide they don’t want to wear clothes! And trying to put a pair of pants on a 2 year old becomes Mission Impossible. As one leg goes in the other comes out, and this goes on for at least 20 minutes. As much as you would like to, taking them out in just a nappy will make people judge you as a mother!

3. The green dummy goes missing! Forget the fact they have 5 blue dummies to hand, they insist on having the green dummy which is no doubt lost somewhere in the house, and despite a frantic search it is remaining hidden. Don’t worry, it will turn up later sat on the kitchen table taunting you that you couldn’t find it earlier. I blame the Dummy Fairy!

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4. Watching Tree Fu Tom becomes a matter of emergency. It must be watched immediately, no questions asked. They NEED to do the moves that make the magic! Right now!

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5. Whatever shoes you try to put on them, they will insist on wearing their red wellies. No amount of rational discussion that wellies aren’t necessary for an indoor play date will convince them otherwise. You may as well give up and let them wear the damn wellies!

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6. Moving the 7 or 8 steps to the car from the house can take 3 times longer than expected. First the toddler insists on walking out of the house by themselves, only to decide that’s too much effort, “mummy, carry me!” Don’t make the foolish mistake of suggesting they can walk themselves as it’s only a few steps. The full-on meltdown will only delay you even further.

7. The day where you have to be somewhere will be the day they decide to take the longest nap ever. If you’re at home all day and willing them to sleep so you can catch up on the housework, watching Revenge, they’ll have 20 minutes and be wide awake. Make plans to meet somewhere at 1, and they will still be fast asleep at ten past. You then face the dilemma of waking them and risking a grumpy toddler all afternoon or just accepting you will be very, very late.

8. However long you think it will take you and your toddler to get ready, add at last another 45 minutes. Just because! The toddler will hide your make up, try to “help” you do your hair or just run around throwing every toy they own down the stairs! Although by letting them thrown their bricks down the stairs you will at least get to do your hair in peace! Every cloud and all that!

It used to drive me mad before having kids when my mummy friends would be late again. Now I realise they did a fantastic job only being 20 minutes behind schedule!

And then the fun began...

39 Comments

  1. April 8, 2014 / 9:01 am

    As soon as I saw the title of this post, I knew it was going to be something I identified with. I was always always always an early person before having kids. It was a shock having to adjust how I dealt with time.

    Good attitude with the toys down the stairs! I know that feeling too!

    • April 8, 2014 / 10:24 am

      Toys on stairs can easily be cleaned up, I’d rather have the 5 mins peace every time!

  2. April 8, 2014 / 9:24 am

    Love the wellies reference – my toddler is OBSESSED with his green wellies … doesn’t bode well for summertime!!!

    • April 8, 2014 / 10:23 am

      I didn’t even think of that, oh dear, I can picture the battles already!

  3. April 8, 2014 / 10:18 am

    Hehe my z is obsessed with his wellies. He looks like he’s constantly off to jump around in some mud!

    • April 8, 2014 / 10:22 am

      With O it’s either his wellies or his rugby shoes (trainers), as he calls them. Trying to get his lovely Boden pumps on is a no-go!

  4. April 8, 2014 / 11:57 am

    This is just brilliant Jo! I’m such a punctual person, and have a complete stress attack if the timings are thrown off – our house is like boot camp. We are leaving in five minutes children. FIVE MINUTES!! I blame it on being a teacher and the bloody school bell dictating everything! I’ve learnt to leave a half hour ‘buffer’ zone now for all the hair/shoes/coats malarky. It’s taken me eight years, but I am oft complimented on making it on time with 3 children in tow ๐Ÿ˜‰ (they can’t see the devastation left behind!) Loved this!xx

    • April 8, 2014 / 3:22 pm

      Wow, always on time with 3 kids, you would be my dad’s idol! My brother and his wife are always late to everything, drive him potty!
      I’m on average 15 minutes late to a social event and somehow almost always manage to get to work on time. Some mornings I have no idea how! x

  5. wrymummy
    April 8, 2014 / 5:37 pm

    Soooo maddening! Your list is brilliant, so true! The damn winter poo! X

    • April 9, 2014 / 5:55 am

      It’s that moment when you get a whiff of it and your heart sinks! Why couldn’t they do it 10 minutes earlier before all the layers were added!

  6. April 8, 2014 / 7:32 pm

    Yes yes and yes!!! The flat out refusal to put on clothes is the one that gets me. And as for the stairs, why the fascination of throwing things down them?! It was my bra this morning, just as I was about to out it on!!!!

    • April 9, 2014 / 5:57 am

      Yesterday my little man refused to put on any clothes for about an hour and only got dressed if he could wear trackies and a hideous clashing t-shirt. It actually pained me to dress him in it!

  7. Outnumbered
    April 8, 2014 / 7:38 pm

    Great post….identify with every single point. My little one just had to wear his red snow boots. I’ve hidden them now to stop him wearing them lol. I get so stressed trying to get out the door on time with 3 kids. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • April 9, 2014 / 5:58 am

      I can’t get away with hiding them, he remembers they must be somewhere and continually asks for them! There’s only so long he’ll believe wellies have to go to sleep. x

  8. April 9, 2014 / 6:08 am

    Love this! And what is it about ALWAYS wanting to wear wellies? (Apart from when it’s raining, of course?!) x

  9. April 9, 2014 / 10:50 am

    Great post and so true! I hate being late but life with a toddler doesn’t always go to plan ๐Ÿ™‚ #sharewithme

  10. April 9, 2014 / 12:32 pm

    I hate being late but have had to be zen about it now that I have kids. That nap thing is totally true for us. And my son has these monster wellies he wear around the house, not caring that he’s tracking dirt all over the floor. #sharewithme

  11. Wicked World of Lucas
    April 9, 2014 / 1:24 pm

    Fab post – agree with all of them especially the wellies and the pooing one!! Been there several times! #sharewithme

  12. Twice a mummy double the fun
    April 9, 2014 / 4:36 pm

    Very true post, I love it! I can relate to most things lol #sharewithme x

  13. April 9, 2014 / 7:15 pm

    These kinda ‘guidelines’ make me giggle so much. My non-parent friends roll their eyes… ohhh they will see what we mean one day *mwahahah!!*

    I’ve popped on over from #sharewithme and would love you to come say hi at carsonsmummy.blogspot.co.uk too ๐Ÿ™‚ xx

  14. Colette B
    April 9, 2014 / 9:32 pm

    I also hate being late – it’s so flipping disrespectful . . . but hell I’ve been there with the last minute poo situation more times than I care to remember!
    At the moment if I manage to get myself and all three smalls out of the house and to our destination somewhere resembling “on time” its a miracle!
    #sharewithme

  15. April 9, 2014 / 9:41 pm

    OMG this is so true! I am always running late with his preschool cuz he would poo/wee just when we are about to leave =P #sharewithme

  16. April 10, 2014 / 10:53 am

    One of mine took her tights off 3 times yesterday…on occassions like that you wonder about just cancelling all together! Fab post, very true.
    #sharewithme

  17. Super busy mum
    April 11, 2014 / 8:08 am

    Lol all of this is so true that I am sat here giggling to myself. X

  18. chrissypsmum
    April 11, 2014 / 8:58 pm

    This is my life summed up lol! although we have the terrible two tantrums with the sticky out bottom lip, crossed arms and stamping feet!! lol xx great post x #sharewithme

  19. April 12, 2014 / 2:40 pm

    I heave been in every one of these and now she is 8 I am still late to almost everything! I too hate being late #sharewithme

  20. @jetlagandmayhem
    April 13, 2014 / 11:53 am

    We always seem to have a similar wellygate situation

  21. Natalie Ray
    April 14, 2014 / 2:38 pm

    Haha I can totally relate to some of these! The poo and the wellies especially, all the pretty shoes in the world won’t stop my little girl from insisting on wearing her wellies!

  22. Little treasures
    September 4, 2014 / 10:17 am

    Ha ha! These are so true! I’m glad you re-posted, it’s brightened my day. I constantly hear myself saying “come one, we’re late now” and it’s always one of these reasons, mainly wellies or no clothes and the walking to the car bit is exactly what happens! Brilliant xx

  23. February 24, 2015 / 9:25 am

    Nodding along to everything here Jo! We don’t drive and are tied to most things we do by train times so are often on time but it involves legging it down the road and starting out our little adventure super grumpy with each other fun times ๐Ÿ˜‰ #thetruthabout
    Reneรฉ @ Mummy Tries recently posted…Can You Help? #BTBYMy Profile

  24. February 25, 2015 / 1:55 pm

    Yep, that pretty much sums it up. I also hate it when you’ve finally made it to the car and they demand a muzzy or a drink and you have to go back!! Thanks for joining up to #thetruthabout Xx
    Sam recently posted…The Truth about… #16My Profile

  25. February 25, 2015 / 10:30 pm

    I stress every time I have to wake up my son from his nap to pick up my daughter from school. The putting on shoes, arguing about wellies, arguing about a coat and the five minutes it takes to walk down the stairs. I always expect to be late. #thetruthabout
    Californian Mum in London recently posted…Rolling on the Floor WednesdayMy Profile

  26. February 25, 2015 / 10:51 pm

    I’ve never been a very punctual person but at least these days I have a legitimate excuse – usually one or more of the above. All very familiar! #thetruthabout
    Jude recently posted…On the agony of a teacher-crush.My Profile

  27. February 26, 2015 / 7:23 am

    He,he!!! Oh so true!!!
    The one about the nap is such a cruel truth!!! I pray my daughter has a day time nap so I can get jobs done and then she is wide awake and running around like a wild animal. If I need to go out and meet someone she is sleeping beauty!!! Argh!!! x
    #thetruthabout
    Laura Evelyn Bee recently posted…Maybelline Dream Flawless Foundation: ReviewMy Profile

  28. March 27, 2016 / 12:36 pm

    I’m printing this out and intend to carry a copy with me to every meeting / appointment / function. I shall then just circle the appropriate reason and nod as I hand it over. Brilliant and so very true!

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