Do you ever have moments when you’re driving somewhere, and your mind wanders, and before you know it you’re half way to work before realising it’s Saturday. Or you’ve read eight pages of your book and haven’t got a clue what’s just happened, you’ve just been turning the pages.
Since becoming a mum I quite often find myself going through the motions without really thinking about what I’m doing. My brain takes a rest and lets the autopilot take over. And this is what happens when my mummy autopilot light is switched on:
- I tell colleagues when I’m off for a wee wee (and yes, I do tend to say wee wee!) I don’t know about you but I’m so used to having to explain where I’m going that it becomes second nature whenever nipping to the toilet, and obviously you have to say it in toddler speak.
- I’ve watched 3 back to back episodes of Ben and Holly before realising the 2 year old has been in bed for the past hour.
- I will give a running commentary of my car ride to work before remembering it’s Monday and the kid is at home with his Grandma.
- I turn into the bad language police and glare at anyone who utters a swear word before muttering “not in front of the kids” whilst shaking my head.
- And when I’m not playing swear word cop I turn into the good manners fairy “what’s the magic word?” when someone doesn’t say please.
- I fill my glass to the brim with full fat milk on a Friday (who am I kidding, Monday) night instead of with wine.
- I become incapable of saying the word yoghurt, and instead yell across the supermarket to tell hubby to get some yog yog.
- In fact, when in mummy autopilot mode it is almost impossible to say a word only once.
- When presented with my dinner I start cutting it into small bite size chunks as soon as I get it.
- I call almost everyone love or sweetheart, which earns me a few funny looks from the 15 year olds in my classroom.
- My first thought when seeing 18 year olds out on a Friday night in the middle of November without a coat is “Oooh, they must be freezing”, despite refusing to wear a coat myself on a night out until I was at least 23 because I hated queues for the cloakroom at the end of the night.
When so much of your time is spent being mum, it’s hard to snap out of it. So I guess I’ll just have to put up with the strange looks a little while longer!