The Day Our Dreams Came True

When you have been trying to conceive for a long time the two week wait becomes a way of life.  You spend half your month worrying about timings, ovulation, what you could possibly do to help nature take its course and the second half stressing and googling every single possible symptom.  It all consuming, and exhausting.

After the first year I stopped crying each month when my period arrived, occasionally I’d lock myself in the bathroom for a few moments to pull myself together before getting on with the rest of the day.

There have been so many months when I was convinced this was it.  I felt sick, was sure that my sense of smell had increased, I’ve lost count of how many “Could I be pregnant?” quizzes I had taken on the internet.  I always knew they were a load of rubbish but it didn’t stop me from taking them.

When I was pregnant with O I knew almost immediately.  I could never quite put my finger on it but I just knew, almost within days, that I was pregnant.  Within a week I was feeling sick and when I nearly threw up in the middle of Asda because I could smell food I was convinced.  The negative pregnancy tests were telling me otherwise but several days after my period was due a very faint second line appeared.

This time it was very different.  The month before I had been “convinced” we had conceived.  We’d been on holiday and had a lovely, chilled time and for the first time in months, really relaxed.  On our return I was experiencing every early pregnancy symptom going and I was starting to get my hopes up.  I bought a few pregnancy tests to have in when it would be time to test.  Stupidly, I should have known better, my period arrived before I had a chance to try a single one.

Maybe it was because of this I wasn’t expecting much from the following month.  In fact, I was almost certain I wasn’t pregnant.  There was no symptom spotting from me as there were no symptoms to spot.  No sickness, no strong sense of smell, I didn’t even get hung up on when my period was due.

It’s not unusual for me to a day or two late but it suddenly dawned on me on the last day of September that I was four days late.  This was a bit strange.  And I’d had a couple of nose bleeds, something I never have.  I turned to Dr Google and realised that maybe I did have a couple of early pregnancy symptoms.

Pushing those thoughts to one side I went to pick up O from my mums, had a glass of wine and thought that if my period hadn’t arrived by the next morning I would take a test,  just to rule it out.  One thing to know about me is that I don’t have much patience and after getting home I couldn’t shift the niggling thought that I should take a test.  Luckily I had a stash after stocking up the previous month.

My husband and O were downstairs making dinner and I sneaked off to take the test.  I was all set for leaving it in the bathroom and checking it later but I didn’t make it out of the room before noticing the second line had started to appear.  I held it under the light and stared at it in disbelief, my hand shaking.

I had imagined the moment of telling my husband I was pregnant so many times, I wanted it to be special, something he would always remember.  Well, it didn’t quite turn out that way as when I walked downstairs all I could do was wave the test at him as I burst into tears.  I think he was more shocked than I was.

As O was still awake and we didn’t want to tell him there were lots of hushed conversations and just looking at each other.  Once our boy was in bed I took a Clearblue Digital, a part of me needed to see the word Pregnant come up, and my husband needed more proof before he could start to believe it.  A few minutes after tucking O in bed that magical word, the one we had waited three years to see, appeared.

We were going to be parents for a second time.

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25 Comments

  1. January 13, 2016 / 7:23 am

    Congratulations. Such an exciting time. I wanted to make a special announcement to my husband with the second, as like you he didn’t know I was taking the test. I hid it in a drawer that he never goes to. Except this time he did. Not the way I was expecting him to find out but his face was a picture! Hope pregnancy is treating you well. #sharewithme

  2. January 13, 2016 / 10:40 am

    Congratulations, that is absolutely fantastic. You must be over the moon after trying of so long. Wishing you all the best for your pregnancy, hope you don’t get too much morning sickness! #sharewithme
    BloggerMummyLauren recently posted…Caitlin Today You Are 6My Profile

    • January 14, 2016 / 8:27 am

      Thank you, morning sickness hasn’t been too bad, and I’m over the worst so can’t really complain. Could have been a lot worse xx
      Not A Frumpy Mum recently posted…The Day Our Dreams Came TrueMy Profile

  3. January 13, 2016 / 11:07 am

    Congratulations! What exciting news 🙂 All the best with the pregnancy – hope it treats you well.

    • January 14, 2016 / 8:28 am

      Thanks Donna, it’s all going pretty smoothly so far after a slightly bumpy start, still feels a bit surreal, even now! xx
      Not A Frumpy Mum recently posted…The Day Our Dreams Came TrueMy Profile

  4. Abigail Bryony
    January 13, 2016 / 3:06 pm

    Congratulations! Xx

  5. January 13, 2016 / 6:53 pm

    Ah this is so lovely Jo. It is such an emotional moment seeing that line appear isn’t it? Even more so when you have been waiting as long as you have. Such a strange and surreal moment- it makes me a little emotional to think I won’t ever have to do that again! I am loving reading about your pregnancy- I am so thrilled for you. x

    • January 14, 2016 / 8:30 am

      It was really strange. I honestly didn’t expect them to appear, I’ve taken so many tests which turned out to be negative that I never thought we’d get that moment again. The second line came up so quickly I was in shock. Thank you for commenting lovely. xxx
      Not A Frumpy Mum recently posted…The Day Our Dreams Came TrueMy Profile

  6. January 13, 2016 / 7:28 pm

    Congratulations! This took me right back to doing my own test (okay, tests) – it’s such a strange moment, trying not to get your hopes up but wishing all the same. 🙂 #sharewithme
    Jess Powell (Babi a Fi) recently posted…British FoodMy Profile

  7. January 13, 2016 / 8:09 pm

    Ooh it’s given me goosebumps reading this! I am still so made up for you, I can imagine how excited you were to tell you husband, every time I see a photo of you with that baby bump I smile xx #sharewithme

    • January 14, 2016 / 8:33 am

      Thanks Hayley, such a sweet comment, I’m loving my baby bump, which seems to have got a lot bigger in the past week. Almost big enough to rest a cup of tea on! xx
      Not A Frumpy Mum recently posted…The Day Our Dreams Came TrueMy Profile

  8. January 14, 2016 / 1:26 pm

    Oh how exciting lovely! I had a tear reading that post. And it took me right back to when I took a pregnancy test with Baby #3. My hand couldn’t stop shaking.
    So happy for you.
    Life as Mum recently posted…Budget Yourself This ValentinesMy Profile

  9. January 16, 2016 / 10:20 pm

    Ahhhh Congratulations! How lovely for you!

  10. January 17, 2016 / 7:19 pm

    Oh Jo this is just so lovely. It absolutely whisked me back to when I took tests with my two boys. Such precious moments. I’m so excited for you xxx
    Rachel @ The Ordinary Lovely recently posted…On home turfMy Profile

  11. January 18, 2016 / 10:44 am

    Congratulations!! Such a lovely gift to receive in the new year. All the best. #sharewithme
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  12. Jenny
    January 19, 2016 / 9:35 am

    OH Jo I really am so happy for you darling and can’t wait it’s going to be amazing to have a little sibling for o he will be the best big brother ever. Exciting times ahead. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme
    Jenny recently posted…Let’s focus on life’s details #lifecloseupMy Profile

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