I haven’t been myself lately. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I’ve felt overwhelmed by pretty much everything. I’ve felt lonely and when I have those moments I tend to shut myself away from the world. The polar opposite of what I should be doing. It’s part of the reason I’ve stayed away from the blog.
For the past six months it has felt that everything has been a disappointment. Work has been a bit crap and I stupidly took on too much which meant I was working all evenings, most evenings and it left me exhausted.
With all this I haven’t been the best wife and mum. I’ve been grumpy and snappy and not much fun to be around.
And it makes be annoyed with myself. I know I have so much to be grateful for but it’s hard when you long for something that seems to be just out of your reach.
On Friday the summer holidays started.
For the first time in a long time we went out for dinner as a couple. We go out to eat a lot (my waist line would say probably too much) but as a threesome and when you’re trying to keep a three year old entertained there isn’t much time for adult conversation.
We went to our local and booked ourselves into their restaurant. We ordered some delicious food, we drank a few too many wines and we talked. Properly talked. And I realised how long it had been since we had properly talked. Obviously we do communicate, but it is often about who is doing the shopping and the general day to day stuff but I couldn’t remember the last time we had really talked about how we were feeling and what the future holds.
The past six months have been some of the hardest we have ever been through as a couple. I’m my own worst enemy as I tend to bury my head in the sand when I’m feeling a bit down. I take the attitude if I don’t think about it, it will go away, when I know that my husband will always make me feel better if I talk about it.
We laughed, I cried, and it was the best night we’d had in a long time.
As we walked the short distance home, hand in hand, it reminded me we are, and always will be, a team and he is always on my side. He will always be fighting my corner, especially when I need him to the most.
I think life just takes over so much that when you finally step back and talk you realise it’s been months and months. It sounds like the dinner was much needed as was the laughing and crying. I hope the next few weeks bring with it some calm for you all. Hugs xx
Notmyyearoff recently posted…Celebrations
I do exactly the same, it can take me ages to realise just how low I’ve been feeling, once I talk it over I invariably start feeling more positive . Hope your holidays go well xx
Em @ snowingindoors recently posted…A Sunday Photo 19.07.2015
I’m happy for you that you had that important time together. And sorry about the tough times you’re going through. My life just entered a period that is basically going to be crap, and I’m trying to figure out how to handle that. So I empathize, and am sending you positive thoughts. -Amy at http://www.momgoeson.wordpress.com
Amy recently posted…Looking for smiles
I hope you have a wonderfully long school free holiday. Time to recharge the batteries, focus on your gorgeous family – and sort out our prosecco date!! xxx
Beth Twinderelmo recently posted…Water Painting – The Ordinary Moments
A beautiful post Jo and a brave and honest one too. Sometimes it’s just what you need, to reconnect and realise that you have perhaps been unassumingly neglecting each other because of other things going on. I am glad you had such a lovely night together. And I hope that you have a wonderful Summer and it can in some way help heal the tough times you have been going through. xx
Katie @mummydaddyme recently posted…{The Ordinary Moments 15} #29 ‘Motherhood Guilt’
Jo this made me feel emotional to read – lovely honest post and im sorry to hear you have had a rough few months. So often we get dragged along in life and go with the flow and then wonder what the heck we’re doing!!! It great you had some time out, to talk, reflect, cry and be reassured. Life is super hard some days/weeks but its made a little easier with a loyal supporter walking it with us!
Hope things get better xx
Mary recently posted…The Ordinary Moments 29/52 – Mr Grass Head
This is so true-there’s nothing like a break from the norm and a good chat with someone you love and trust to help re-align your world! Hope you feel better soon x
Wilma @Little Green Tree recently posted…Diet disasters, Dodgy lyrics and Life’s simple pleasures #littleloves
I understand. I’m glad that you had a great night to reconnect and that you’re a strong team. I hope you have a great summer and some calmer waters ahead.
Caro recently posted…The Disney Dream
Such a beautiful, honest post. I’m so glad that you had a lovely evening, sounds like it was just what was needed. I hope you have a super summer reconnecting with those 2 very important people in your life xx
Karen recently posted…Wanna be a Record Breaker?
Oh what a lovely post and a very precious and much needed moment too – long may it continue to be one of your ordinary moments!
cariemay recently posted…Living Arrows 2015: 29/52
Oh lovely this made me feel a bit mooshy. I think when Andy and I sit down and properly chat, I feel most like me. Hope you’re having a lovely summer holiday so far xxx
Potty Mouthed Mummy recently posted…My Health Journey #2
That is so lovely (not the crying bit or the rubbish work) but the time together. I can’t remember the last time we had a date night. It really does do you good,
Hope you’re feeling better lovely.
Emma lander recently posted…Vegetarian Oaty Burgers-With Mornflake Oatbran