Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being “in love” which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.
Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres
This was one of the readings at our wedding. I cried the first time I ever read it and it still brings me to tears today. For me, this sums up marriage perfectly.
I married my husband five days before the 14th anniversary of the day we met. We were certainly not in the first flushes of love, that had long passed. We have had many ups and downs, arguments, break ups, getting back togethers. The one thing that we discovered over time was that there was nobody else that we wanted to be with, and when you realise that you can make the commitment to build a life together.
A marriage doesn’t survive based on the good times, it can’t. The good times are great whilst they last , but there will often be something round the corner to bring you crashing down to earth. This is when you need to have someone to cling onto.
When you are hurting, irrational, unreasonable, lashing out, feeling alone, love is having someone telling you it will all be okay and passing you a large glass of wine. Someone who is holding you together when you feel like you are falling apart.
And these times will pass, there will be good times again, and you come out the other side stronger, together. As one tree.