Things I Want My Son To Know

Over the past few weeks I’ve read several blog posts from parents of young girls. Parents who are understandably worried about what the future holds and the perception females have of themselves growing up in our world.

As the mum to a gorgeous 2 year old boy, I also worry on how he will grow up, and the world he will inherit.

Little O this is what I want you to know:

Women are beautiful! We come in all shapes and sizes and are fabulous and you’d better remember that. The airbrushed images you encounter on the front of FHM are not what all women look like. I want you to love someone for the person they are and not what they look like.

I want you to be respectful. When you do grow up and have a girlfriend (you know, when you hit your 30’s and mummy lets you date) make sure she is the only one. Tell her she’s beautiful, funny, clever. Listen when she talks and comfort her when she cries.

Respect yourself, if you don’t no one else will. Never put up with people who treat you badly!

Remember you can’t always get what you want. And you have no right to go and take what doesn’t belong to you. Ever!

It’s okay to cry, and be vulnerable and to show your softer side. You don’t have to be a tough cookie. Your inner strength will shine through.

Work hard, good fortune will rarely land in your lap, but determination and effort will pay off.

Laugh my darling like you do now, the best medicine when times are hard.

Please remain as affectionate and loving as you are today. I know as you hit your teenage years giving your mum a kiss and holding her hand will be mortifying but hopefully we’ll come out the other side together.

Talk, you will no doubt encounter some tough moments but remember I will always be here for you, you can tell me anything, and I will continue to love you as unconditionally as I do right now!

I look at my little man and can’t even begin to imagine him as an adult, but I know it will happen and far too quickly for my liking. I hope in the years in between his father and I can set him the best example we can for him to grow into a young man we can both be so proud of.


  1. January 13, 2014 / 8:16 am

    Oh gosh, that’s just had me in tears it’s beautiful!! I feel exactly the same about my little man! Thanks for sharing that xx

    • notafrumpymum
      January 14, 2014 / 4:05 pm

      Thanks for commenting. I feel a big responsibility as the mum of a boy to make sure he grows up to respect girls and the world around him x

  2. January 13, 2014 / 9:16 am

    Such a beautiful post to your son. It is hard to imagine our toddling boys as men, but as you say, I’m sure it’ll happen quickly.

    • notafrumpymum
      January 14, 2014 / 4:04 pm

      Much too quickly. I find myself watching him and trying to think what sort of teenager/man he’s going to be. So hard to imagine! x

  3. January 13, 2014 / 10:01 am

    This is lovely, hubby and I regularly have conversations about the things we want to teach our monkey as he grows up, and many of them are on this list! Lovely post

    • notafrumpymum
      January 14, 2014 / 4:02 pm

      Thank you. I suppose it’s only now that I starting to think more towards the future as he is learning so much at the minute. It’s scary how much he picks up!

  4. Notmyyearoff
    January 14, 2014 / 7:24 am

    Really lovely post. I can’t imagine our little boys grown up although I’m sure they will make the best gentlemen around x

    • notafrumpymum
      January 14, 2014 / 4:00 pm

      I really hope they are. I can’t imagine them grown up either!

  5. January 14, 2014 / 11:51 am

    love this post Jo it’s so beautiful :)) xx

    • notafrumpymum
      January 14, 2014 / 3:58 pm

      Thank you so much, I was a bit unsure whether to post it or not, but glad it did! x

  6. January 15, 2014 / 7:41 pm

    Beautiful list, sounds like with your guidance your son will grow into a real gent, the sort I wound want my girls to meet (once they hit 30 and are allowed to date of course!)

  7. Amy
    January 16, 2014 / 11:14 am

    Such a lovely post, thanks for sharing

  8. Hannah Gee
    January 17, 2014 / 8:44 pm

    Aww such lovely words and thoughts to pass on to your boy! I’m sure he is going to grow up to be a lovely boy x

  9. January 17, 2014 / 9:08 pm

    That is absolutely lovely and, in thinking and writing things like this you are already setting a fab example. I am sure your little boy will grow up to be a real gent. X

  10. January 17, 2014 / 9:51 pm

    what a brilliant idea, I’m sure you are bringing him to show respect

  11. January 18, 2014 / 11:04 am

    Lovely post I want the same for my son! #WBH x

  12. January 19, 2014 / 4:45 pm

    All really good things to teach your little boy, and exactly the ones I hope I am teaching mine πŸ™‚

  13. hodgepodgedays
    January 19, 2014 / 8:30 pm

    Amen to all that. I’ll be trying to pass this on to my boy πŸ™‚

  14. January 19, 2014 / 11:30 pm

    This is really sweet. He’s obviously going to grow up a lovely young man if he listens to his mother πŸ™‚ xx

  15. Rahul @ Champagne & Chutney
    January 20, 2014 / 10:22 am

    This is so beautiful! I am sure he will grow up to be an amazing son x

  16. January 20, 2014 / 10:32 pm

    This is great. We do not have any boys, just three girls and I often wonder how I would like to bring a son up – what I would like to say to him to make sure he respects the world around him. Great post xxx

  17. Notmyyearoff
    March 1, 2014 / 8:02 am

    Ahhh what a really lovely lovely letter to your boy. Every mum should have this conversation with the little boys in their life

  18. Ideas4Dads
    March 1, 2014 / 5:25 pm

    This is really great. As a father of 3 girls the thought of teenage trials and tribulations does fill me with dread when i think about it but i try not to. If i can install a moral compass, inner confidence and mutual respect i think it will stand them in good stead πŸ™‚

  19. January 10, 2015 / 10:47 am

    That’s fantastic advice with which to guide your little man through his formative years.

    In particular, I love the advice about showing his vulnerable side. Our oldest, Isaac (7), has always been openly sensitive and willing to show his emotions. Occasionally I catch myself worrying that he might need to toughen up a bit or at least develop a thicker skin but in truth I’m proud of how caring, open and empathetic he is. He talks to us openly about everything, he considers the impact of what he says and he’s always looking out for when anyone in the house needs a cuddle – whether it’s one of his younger siblings or one of his parents. I wouldn’t have him any other way.
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