The Inner Voice Of A Control Freak Mum

I admit it, I’m a control freak, with a hint of OCD. It drives me mad when the kids at school don’t push all their chairs under the desk, or when they put their bags on the desk or chair (they belong on the floor children), and any finger tappers get “the stare!” There’s nothing more annoying than a finger tapper!

Now that O is well into the toddler phase he is increasingly independent, and the most commonly used phrase in our house is “I do it!” As a mum I am delighted to watch O develop, but the control freak part of me isn’t quite as happy and keeps chipping in it’s opinion.

The two voices, the mummy me and control freak me,  are always there, whatever we are doing:

Playing Sticker Books

Mummy me: how lovely, O is placing the stickers almost the right way, and tapping them down nicely.
Control Freak me: that’s crap, he’s placed every sticker in the same place, one on top of the other.  You need to go and buy your own Peppa Pig sticker book so you can put all the stickers on the right page in the right place, and then never let the kid near it.

Those round stickers don't even belong in this book!

Those round stickers don’t even belong in the book!

Colouring In

Mummy me: it’s fantastic that O is learning all his colours.
Control Freak me: firstly, what the hell has he done to the crayons? They’re all in bits because he keeps throwing them round the room.  I don’t know why he insists you colour with him, as soon as he sees you colouring something in he scribbles all over it, ruining your beautiful picture!

Planting herbs

Mummy me: a great opportunity to teach O about plants and how they grow.
Control Freak me: what’s on gods earth were you thinking? Toddlers and mud are a recipe for disaster, look at the kitchen floor.  And then to make matters worse you gave him a mini watering can, with real water in.  Did you really think this would end well?

Eating Breakfast

Mummy me: he looks so grown up sat at the big table, cute.
Control Freak me: yep, and look at him, ruining your good table.  There’s a constant crust of weetabix on one end of it, and why do you let him attempt to clean up himself? He rubbing weetabix into your best table, and you’re encouraging him. Idiot!


Mummy me: story time with the little man is fab, great to see his enthusiasm when looking at the pictures.
Control Freak me: do you really have to let him touch the books? Do you want another repeat of what happened to Peek-a-Boo Zoo? Brilliant, that’s another book with a great big tear in it,  I did try to warn you.


Mummy me: I used to love playing with Playdoh as a kid, its great to do it now with O.
Control Freak me: Put it away now, NOW! In fact, bin it! You will spend the next week finding tiny pieces of the stuff in the strangest places and if those colours mix I will actually have a meltdown.  At least you only let him play with one colour at a time.  You do still listen to me a bit!


I manage to keep control freak me in check most of the time, although she is currently winning the paint debate.

Control Freak me: that’s what he goes to nursery for! And haha, I got the last word!


  1. February 27, 2014 / 8:16 pm

    Paint I can deal with. Paint can be washed out. But play doh??? The devils work! It gets mashed into a brown squidgy ball which then gets trampled into the carpet! Oh no I don’t think so *hyperventilates*

  2. Izzie Anderton
    February 28, 2014 / 6:49 am

    Ha! I can definitely see where you’re coming from with this and I think there’s probably a bit of control freak in all of us if we’re being honest!!!

  3. BakedPotato Mummy
    February 28, 2014 / 7:17 am

    I’m a terrible control-freak too. For me, it’s not so much the mess. It’s more that I keep thinking he’s not playing with stuff ‘properly’. I have to keep reminding myself that there is no such thing as playing with things in the wrong way!

  4. Emma
    February 28, 2014 / 7:41 am

    Haha! So funny. I will be like this when Alfie is older, I can imagine it now!!

  5. February 28, 2014 / 8:57 am

    I am so on your wavelength although not quite so bad!! I do get out the playdough and paint but it swiftly ends when someone begins to do something with it I don’t like like eat it!!

  6. February 28, 2014 / 9:03 am

    This made me smile. I can imagine my control freak side coming out especially with the playdoh! #binkylinky

  7. Twice a mummy double the fun
    February 28, 2014 / 11:09 am

    This is brilliant and how I feel too, lol 🙂

  8. sarahmo3w
    February 28, 2014 / 11:20 am

    Ha ha! Never had a problem with the sticker books and crayons etc – always happy with them to have freedom of expression, but hated them ripping books. Also, can’t bear it when people stop reading to look at pictures – just READ THE FLIPPING STORY LIKE IT WAS WRITTEN TO BE READ. HOW WILL THEY GET USED TO HOW STORIES SOUND IF YOU KEEP STOPPING TO LOOK AT FLIPPING DOGS AND DUCKS IN THE PICTURES? Yes, I know it’s supposed to be educational, but it winds me right up!
    As for Play Doh and paint? My kids were at nursery two full days a week from six months. They didn’t need to do those things at home – they had plenty of opportunities at nursery!
    Popping over from PoCoLo, congrats on being the newbie showcase!

  9. February 28, 2014 / 11:57 am

    I think I was like this when I was younger but as I have grown older I have mellowed and now with my youngest I love making loads of mess with them, it is brilliant fun 🙂

  10. February 28, 2014 / 2:35 pm

    haha i love this!!! We aren’t really at this stage yet but poor I can already see this exact same battle with myself occurring!!! Well done for holding back control freak you most of the time 🙂 x

  11. Leah
    February 28, 2014 / 3:40 pm

    Haha, this is great! I am so OCD as well and right now pre-baby all I can think about is how I won’t have as much time to clean as I do now. I haven’t even got to thinking about how obsessive I will be about the baby playing ‘the correct way.’ I’ll be right there with you with the internal dialogue!

  12. February 28, 2014 / 6:31 pm

    It’s such a relief to know that I’m not alone lol! Depending on what it is, I’ll either keep the OCD self in my head (like the stickers situation), or I’ll simply not provide them the mess (play dough!) to play with. I know there are people who’ll say that I’m discouraging creativity but unfortunately my OCD wins when it comes to me having to pick up tiny pieces of play dough off the carpet (I’m not keen in proofing the whole floor for 5 minutes of fun either). The guilt is there but I can’t help it!

  13. judithkingston
    February 28, 2014 / 8:10 pm

    We have that exact same Peppa Pig sticker book, and the Boy started off putting all the stickers on top of each other as well. But it didn’t last long, never fear. And I too want my own colouring and sticker books, adn possibly my own play doh, so I can make beautiful things without them being ruined by scribbles.

  14. February 28, 2014 / 8:57 pm

    Oh thank goodness it’s not just me then! It’s ridiculous. I used to be kindergarten teacher. We did messy play and kiddies cooking and playdoh with loads of colours at once. There were puzzles with pieces missing and books with obliterated spines. No issues at all. Can I deal with any of that in my own home? Nope!

  15. February 28, 2014 / 9:51 pm

    This made me laugh!! How true!! Lovely to find your blog #binkylinky xx

  16. Mummy Whiskers
    February 28, 2014 / 10:33 pm

    We haven’t done play do yet, I’m coping with paint though, washes up pretty well! #BinkyLinky

  17. stephaniedaviesarai
    March 1, 2014 / 8:50 am

    ‘do I really have to let him touch the books’ LOLZ. That was my favourite line.Brilliant blog, made me laugh so much. If my kids were still that young, I would remember that line every time I started to get irritated about, say, my child’s colouring-in going outside the lines, and it would probably make me laugh enough to relax about it. We control freaks need all the help we can get 🙂

  18. March 1, 2014 / 10:24 am

    Oh yes to every single point here. I’m just avoiding crafty things now! #BinkyLinky

  19. March 1, 2014 / 7:07 pm

    It makes me really happy to see how many people can relate to all of this! I don’t mind mess so much as inefficiency. Everything just takes SO MUCH TIME when a two year old is doing it. I feel like such a jerk when a little voice in my head (and sometimes not in my head!) says please, please, please just hurry up! I know she’ll be doing things like a grown up someday and then I’ll really miss all this!

  20. March 2, 2014 / 11:19 am

    The weetabix thing is very true, our table never seems free of the stuff and it goes like cement if you miss a bit. Popping over from #pocolo

  21. March 2, 2014 / 12:14 pm

    This made me laugh! The sticker one is true for us! M will stick them all on top of each other and R will give me a crayon to colour with her, but then take it back off me before it even hits the page! They had a lego farm set for their birthday and I was determined to put it together exactly as it was on the box, but they were having none of it! Thanks for linking up #binkylinky

  22. March 2, 2014 / 1:55 pm

    hahahah I love this post, especially as I know when the time comes I am going to be exactly the same! I struggle when I’m with my nephew and he’s colouring in cos I want to tell him to colour in the lines and change pens for different things and stuff! Thanks for sharing this!

  23. March 2, 2014 / 8:55 pm

    LOL!! This post is FAB! made me chuckle!! 😀 I think we all have a little bit of “control freak” in us!! #BinkyLinky

  24. March 5, 2014 / 1:29 pm

    Great post, I’m a control freak too and have found that it’s so hard to give up control of the kids – even when leaving them for an hour with daddy. #MMWBH

  25. March 5, 2014 / 4:35 pm

    I’m afraid I’m rubbish at cleanliness and would make a terrible control freak mummy, but this post was so funny! Love it! Sounds like you have a great balance… X

  26. March 8, 2014 / 8:59 pm

    Love this! My husband has his own Peppa sticker book for the spares to get them all straight! #MMWBH

  27. pottymouthedmummy
    March 29, 2014 / 11:25 am

    Ha ha I can so relate to this one!!! xxx

  28. March 30, 2014 / 6:45 am

    haha I’m exactly the same colouring. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself saying ‘I’m doing this’ haha xx

  29. April 5, 2014 / 12:30 pm

    I love this! Control Freak me wins the paint argument about 80% of the time. Mushroom goes to nursery too 🙂

  30. teentweentoddler1
    July 19, 2014 / 9:58 am

    Haha this sounds like me! Great post!

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