Learning To Let Go

Up until now I’ve generally been quite laid back when it comes to things O related. I’ve never been one to wrap him up in cotton wool or sterilise everything he comes into contact with and it’s worked for us.

Until now!

As he gets older I’m starting to realise I will have less and less control over keeping my little boy safe, and to be honest, it scares the bejesus out of me.

It all started with a trip to a new playground.

As we walked round I realised that none of the slides (my little boys favourite) had steps. The only way you could get to the top of the slide was by climbing. My first reaction was huge disappointment because O wouldn’t be able to reach them without my help, and if there’s one thing O loves it’s being independent!

As I looked around I saw the other kids, all around his age, were climbing up. So of course, I showed my little boy how he could climb up himself. Half of me felt huge pride at how quickly he picked it up, the other half was terrified at the thought of him slipping and hurting himself so I hovered around him like an annoying (and very big) bee!

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Then we saw this! And okay, this one did have steps!

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A slide I know I would have loved as a kid, but as a mum it made me want to weep. As my 2 year old eyed it up, I quickly told him he was too little for the big slide. But was he? There were toddlers (some obviously younger than him) climbing to the top and happily sliding down.

Reluctantly I agreed to letting him have a go (yes, that little man can wrap me round his little finger). He carefully climbed to the top, sat down and slid his way to the bottom, with my heart in my mouth the entire time.

Off he climbed again, only this time he grabbed the handrail before sitting his bum down. The result being he was left hanging at the top and was too scared to let go and slide. Tears ran down his face and he called for Mummy.

I wanted to get to him, I wanted to run up the steps, wrap him up in my arms and keep him safe, but another parent was stood halfway up and there was no way of me getting past. Tears pricked my eyes as panic set in.

The only thing I could do was try and talk him through it. Feet down, stand up, sit and slide. It sounds silly looking back now, but at the time I felt so helpless and so scared for my tiny man. He did listen, and he managed to get down. Walking over to me with a sheepish smile on his face, “I did it, Mummy”.  Before running off to do it all over again.

Those couple of minutes on the park represented the future of our relationship. I need to learn to let go and let him try things for himself.  I can’t always do it for him, but when I can’t, I’ll be there, somewhere nearby, talking him through it step by step.

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6 Comments

  1. lifeatthelittlewood
    September 10, 2014 / 8:52 am

    Oh Jo, I am totally the same with my 3, and Eva is nearly 9 now! She loves to climb right to the top of those massive ropey climbing frame things& my heart is in my mouth constantly. I don’t think we ever lose that, but as the Mr always reminds me, we have to let them find their feet themselves every now and then! Lovely post sweetpea xx

  2. September 11, 2014 / 3:54 pm

    We are really thinking on a similar wvelength this week! It can be so hard to let go, but I do think it does them good. Sometimes they will slip or fall but hopefully they will leanr to pick themselves up and try again! xx #brilliantblogposts
    Caroline (Becoming a SAHM) recently posted…An Autumnal Painting Attempt – 27 mthsMy Profile

  3. Potty Mouthed Mummy
    September 11, 2014 / 7:54 pm

    Oh I am so with you on this one, I find it quite hard to let it go. Bless O, I can imagine your terror in that moment. Glad he was ok and quick to reboot though 🙂 xxx
    Potty Mouthed Mummy recently posted…Why I Don’t Read The NewsMy Profile

  4. September 13, 2014 / 12:14 pm

    Such a touching post darling, feel like that often and letting go can be so hard but it feels good for both of you when you take those steps! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x
    Honest Mum recently posted…Win a £50 Selfridges Gift CardMy Profile

  5. Jenny
    September 13, 2014 / 7:06 pm

    This is so me. I am always panicking now that I can’t keep them safe as much as I used to and as they grow bigger they get braver and I get more and more scared. I think I pretty much hold my breath at every park we go to especially with MM now. She has no fear and jumps off the top of things and climbs higher than I want my one year old to be. Crazy how we feel so helpless. Thank you so much for linking to Share With Me At least we know we are not alone in this. #sharewtihme
    Jenny recently posted…Saturday’s Blogiversary Giveaway: Fisher Price Sensory BouncerMy Profile

  6. September 14, 2014 / 9:24 pm

    Oh gosh this is both my boys!! I am always struggling with what to do but mostly have resigned to give up and let them get on, they have’t fallen, yet! People are often saying ‘Um is that your child? Is he ok up there?’ and i’m always like ‘Er yes well i hope so!’ xx
    Katie recently posted…On your first day of school…My Profile

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