With two weeks to go until Christmas Mummy thought it was about time she got her arse in gear and hit the shops. Stupidly, she thought it would be a good idea to take me with her. Haha, I think we all know how wrong she was.
She thought she’d been clever. She thought she’d timed the trip to town to coincide with my nap so I’d sleep in the buggy. Not a chance. The ten minute power nap in the car was all I needed, I was ready to hit the shops.
To lull Mummy into a false sense of security I happily let her strap me in the buggy and off we went. I even sat nicely whilst we were in the first shop she went in, but Mummy really was pushing her luck trying to go into a second.
What she needs to realise is, I don’t like clothes shops! All the skirts and jumpers hit me in the face as Mummy tries to avoid running into the other crazed Christmas shoppers with my buggy. I do try to dodge the clothes by grabbing a sleeve and pulling as hard as I possibly can, before shouting words that no other human can interpret and thrashing around in my seat. Mummy musn’t be able to hear me over all the Christmas music the shops are playing, so I shout even louder!
It must have worked because Mummy put back the lovely blazer and dress she’d picked up and exited the shop at top speed. Yay, result for me. Then Mummy makes another classic mistake of asking if I want to get out of my buggy. Of course I do, and now she’s put it on the table she can’t take it back. I’m out and free!
Free to walk at a snails pace and get in the way of everybody else shopping who all tut at Mummy and shake their heads. I don’t care about that though because I’ve found a new game to play. I need to touch every big white post we pass in the shopping centre, with both hands. Not sure why, but it really is fun. It also means I couldn’t possibly hold Mummy’s hand. I don’t think Mummy is joining in the game though, she’s too busy apologising to people who keep getting in my way.
When the posts run out, I’ve decided I don’t want to walk anymore, but there’s no way I’m going back in my buggy. That’s boring, Mummy has a spare hand, she can carry me. I spy a fellow two year old with her Mummy and we share a knowing look. She’s out of her buggy too and her Mummy looks as fed up as mine.
We’ve only been shopping for 25 minutes and Mummy is already heading back to the car, she’s not even bought anything. That was a bit silly of her coming to town if she wasn’t going to do any shopping. She must agree with me that she’s been silly as she isn’t looking very happy.
It’s nice to be back in the car, all comfy. So comfy I think I might have a little snooze, all that shopping has worn me out!
If she’s not dragging me round the shops, she’s forcing me to eat in “nice” places. I want a McDonalds!!
Hilarious. I could not stop laughing… this is all SO true.
What was I thinking? Christmas shopping with a 2 year old. Must have been mad! x
This is so funny! I would have been one of those speed shopping ninja’s that would have given you the look but after reading this I really do feel for mums trying to go clothes shopping and I’m going to be much nicer to them in future. Please more posts like this :0D
I would have been one of them too before having O whilst thinking “Can you not control your child?” It did make me laugh as all the mums shopping with toddlers looked fed up whilst mums of newborns were happily pottering about with sleeping babies in their prams.
Thanks for commenting, glad you liked it!
I have a toddler just like this – they should do daycare in shopping centres !
I know, if only. Luckily grandma has offered to take him out one morning next week so I’m going to try again!
I am laughing at you!! Seriously why would you even attempt this?! Have you learnt nothing!!
Normally I wouldn’t have tried, but he’s developed a habit of if he falls asleep in the car he transfers to the buggy well and goes back go sleep. What I now know is he only does this whenever we go somewhere crap! So I get stuck at asda for 2 hours because I don’t want to disturb him but if we ever go somewhere I want him to stay asleep, he’s wide away within 3 minutes of leaving the car!!! Seriously, toddlers have a very specific agenda, I’d love to read the memo that goes with it! xxx
This sounds a lot like my shopping trips only I have the 9 month old screaming in the buggy too. The only way to shop is with a VERY large bag of snacks, the slow eating kind, think raisins and pears 😉
Brilliant post! Really made me laugh 🙂 With a 4 year old and 15 month old, I do my shopping on-line….!
I know this well! I have a almost 2 year old and a just 3 year old. The littlest one is not alowed out of the buggy for any reason, any clothes pulled off rails mainly get left pulled off and screaming gets ignored no matter what. My 3 year old likes to ‘help’ pick out things so we also rearrange the shop as we go, there is no going back to put things in the right place, you jut end up going in circles! And tuts and annoyed looks get ignored or met with a sweeter than sweet smile. I’m thinking ‘bless, you’re too senile to remember what it was like’ or ‘Ha! Just you wait, you are in for a shock!’
Hold your head up high, you an your toddler have every right to shop too 🙂
“Shouting words that no other human can interpret and thashing around in my seat” “we share a knowing look”.
!!!!!
Now coughing like mad as you’ve made me laugh when I have a cold. Good that you can still see the funny side after this day out.
Man oh man this is all so true xxx
Hilarious pangs of recognition even though my 2 are all grown up! It’s great that you’re so good at ‘helping’ Mummy!
BAB! THE GOLDEN RULE OF SHOPPING IS: Leave the sods at home. It is horrible and sweaty and horrible and sweaty and repeat. This is not a thing anyone should be doing! Hilar bab x
brummymummyof2 recently posted…Wicked Wednesdays 10th December
I know, I have learnt better. This year he is dropped off at a grandparent before I go anywhere near a shop! xx
Not A Frumpy Mum recently posted…The Christmas Boutique Review
Ha ha this made me chuckle very much!! Bless his little face. I could do with a maccy d’s to be honest, a bit hungover this morning. ahem xxx
Potty Mouthed Mummy recently posted…Time for Us
Hungover! On a Wednesday morning!?! Well, it is December isn’t it? Hope you got yourself a Big Mac, always works for me. xx
Not A Frumpy Mum recently posted…The Christmas Boutique Review
This is SO funny! Ah I make that classic mistake all the time, taking her out of her stroller and stupidly expecting her to go back in! #sharewithme
http://www.mamamim.com recently posted…Blogmas Day 10 – a Visit to Santa’s Grotto!
I miss being able to strap him in a buggy, he flat out refuses these days! x
Not A Frumpy Mum recently posted…The Christmas Boutique Review
He,he! I LOVE this!!! I especially love the bit about a power nap in the car!!!
x
Laura Evelyn Bee recently posted…Blogmas – 10.12.14
Yes, been there. Never again. I now get babysitters for the kids or no shopping would EVER get done. #sharewithme
Louisa recently posted…The best little angel in the world
Ha ha look at his little face – butter wouldn’t melt! Oh I don’t miss those days 😉 x x
Suzanne3childrenandit recently posted…Can I Get Snapchat?
Hahaha hilarious!!! You Little man have totally got your own way there!!! Poor mummy! And to sleep in the car in the way home….oooo that’s cheeky!!!
Ha, love it. My little boy could have written this too! I’m doing most of mine online now, theres just no point going to a real shop anymore!!
A Little Lyrical recently posted…What’s Breastfeeding really like?
I feel your mummy’s pain!! I also have a two year old who thinks buggies are for wimps. I wish someone could push me round in a buggy every now and again. You kids have no idea how lucky you are!
Heledd recently posted…Cinnamon Christmas Biscuits
I love love this Jo I couldn’t stop laughing and the many times I have down this myself and it has gone the exact same way. Bless this is hilarious. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me Happy Holidays! #sharewithme
Jenny recently posted…Christmas Boutiques