Over the past 4 days I’ve been asked on five separate occasions by five different people when baby 2 will be coming along. “Surely it’s time for another!” Maybe it’s the hint of summer in the air, or just a general nosiness, that prompts people to ask what is essentially the most personal of questions. I’m now an expert at the wistful look and muttering of how we’re enjoying our family of 3 for the minute, but today I got caught in a weak moment. When a work friend asked “Would you like a second?” I didn’t have the energy… View Post

Secondary infertility is a funny old thing. When asked on the very many occasions when number 2 is coming along, I never tell the truth. I smile, mumble some excuse and quickly change the subject. We don’t talk about such things, do we? If you’ve managed to have one child there is never a doubt in anyone’s mind that you may struggle for a second. As a result couples longing for number 2, without success, don’t really belong anywhere.

Last week was our first appointment with the consultant at the hospital to discuss our fertility issues. We arrived early and headed for the ward we’d been instructed to go to, checked ourselves in and then took a seat and waited. As we sat there, surrounded by other couples, I felt like a fraud. We already have a beautiful son, what right do I have to be sat there? I suppose you don’t know other peoples personal circumstances and it was slightly awkward as no one made eye contact or even acknowledged each other. Very different to when you’re at… View Post

As I saw on my FB news feed the arrival of a new baby I should have felt happy, I should have been over the moon, but I wasn’t! It felt like a kick in the stomach and my mood instantly changed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted for the new mum but as she had her son 2 months after I had mine the jealousy took over. Why wasn’t it me? Why was I not in hospital posting proud pictures of my beautiful newborn? Will it ever be my turn again? And god, what a horrible person I must be for… View Post