I think of you sweetheart. Daily, hourly! I picture how our life might be, how your big brother would dote on you, how you would make our family complete. I dream of you, and wait for when you might grace us with your presence. As the months go by, it’s looking increasingly like this may never happen. Maybe you were never meant to be, maybe we were destined to be a family of 3, but that doesn’t stop you from existing in my mind. I wonder if you would have looked like your brother (his daddy’s mini-me) or if you’d… View Post

I really wish I wasn’t writing this. I wish I was writing something silly & fluffy that would maybe make you giggle, I wish things were different. The past few days have probably been the hardest I’ve ever had to get through and this is when I’m very grateful that people I know in “real life” don’t read my blog. It gives me the option to talk about this in my own way. If you’ve been a long term reader of my blog (thank you very much if you are) you’ll know we’ve been struggling to conceive a second child.… View Post

It feels like we’re reaching a bit of a crossroads in our lives at the minute. The next year is going to take us very clearly in one of two ways and I need to find the positives in both potential outcomes because right now I feel a little bit lost. Having spent 10 years building up my career to a place where I was happy with it, I was more than ready to take a step back and do the whole motherhood thing.  And I have loved it, almost every single minute, and my biggest wish is that one… View Post

They say what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. I disagree. Maybe I’m being a tad dramatic, but I don’t feel strong. As we are about to embark on our 3rd year of trying for a second child I no longer have any strength left, and I feel weak! In the 2 years we have been trying I have watched some friends debate whether to have a child, some struggle through the pain of miscarriage, but then the subsequent joy of giving birth to a much wanted second child. And we’re still here.