This is a question I have asked myself a lot over the last year. The 30th September 2015 started out as any other.  I got up, took O to my mums and headed into work.  Days in school fly by and as I sat in my classroom once the kids had all gone home it dawned on me that my period was four days late.  It wasn’t unusual for me to be a couple of days late but not four! As I googled early pregnancy symptoms (not that I really needed to, I knew most of them off by heart)… View Post

A little over a year ago I wrote you a letter, a letter that at the time it broke my heart to write. I can still remember the tears streaming down my face as I tried to put into words the thoughts going round my head as I faced up to the very real possibility that I would never have the chance to know you. Well as I write this I’m crying again, but for a very different reason. This time the tears are flowing because I can’t believe how lucky I am, and I am so thankful that you… View Post

This photograph was taken exactly twelve months ago, a photograph in which my heart was breaking. A year ago today it felt like my world was falling apart.  We were coming to the end of our IVF two week wait and I had just started bleeding.  In all honesty we had suspected for a few days it hadn’t worked as I hadn’t had a single pregnancy symptom but it still didn’t prepare me for it actually being over.  It wasn’t until the next day that we had the official confirmation that our cycle had failed when the pregnancy test came… View Post

I’ve told myself so many times that I’m okay if we don’t have another child.  That we have a lovely life as a family of three and O won’t be missing out by not having a sibling.  I tell myself that as we move further away from those baby days I wouldn’t remember what to do with a newborn anyway.  And the thought of all those sleepless nights again! I tell myself that life with just the one is relatively easy, O is a laid back little boy and we have such a great time together.  In 12 months time… View Post