Throughout my first pregnancy I never had any doubt that it would all end well.  There may have been the tiniest of wobbles on the morning of our 12 week scan but, other than that, I was so confident everything would turn out as it should.  My husband was the worrier and panicked at every stage whilst I was the one to tell him he was being silly. I didn’t realise at the time what a luxury that was.  I think a part of it was first time pregnancy naivety and being a little unaware of just how much could… View Post

When you have been trying to conceive for a long time the two week wait becomes a way of life.  You spend half your month worrying about timings, ovulation, what you could possibly do to help nature take its course and the second half stressing and googling every single possible symptom.  It all consuming, and exhausting. After the first year I stopped crying each month when my period arrived, occasionally I’d lock myself in the bathroom for a few moments to pull myself together before getting on with the rest of the day. There have been so many months when… View Post

When I was pregnant with O I didn’t particularly have a preference as to whether we found out the sex or not, I left it to my husband to decide.  He was adamant he didn’t want to know but as the 20 week scan approached he started to change his mind.  On the day of the scan we had both started to get excited that in a few hours we would know if we were having a boy or a girl.  Unfortunately O didn’t quite want to play ball and was in a really awkward position. The sonographer was reluctant… View Post

I first came across this quote back in January and it has been my mantra for the year.  I have held onto it, repeated it silently in my head when it felt my heart was breaking.  Stupid really, to cling to a few words, but they gave me comfort at a time when there wasn’t much to be found. When our IVF attempt failed in March I told myself over and over again that this couldn’t be the end.  That our journey to have another child was not over, everything was not okay, and everything has to be okay in… View Post