Word Of The Week – Return

return

Normally at the end of the summer holidays a part of me is ready to return to school. There’s a feeling of excitement about the new year ahead and the chance for a fresh start.

This year that feeling isn’t there. I feel nervous about returning on Monday and a little teary at the thought of going back to “normal” life.

I’ve been sat trying to pinpoint exactly why I’m not looking forward to returning to work:

Maybe it’s because I didn’t get as organised as I would have liked at the end of last term and I know I’m returning to a bit of semi- organised chaos.

Maybe it’s that the thought of another year with the threat of Ofsted hanging over us and the pressure for results is sucking the joy out of the job.

Maybe it’s because I’d hoped to be starting the year on maternity leave or at least with it on the horizon.

Maybe I’m a little apprehensive about the mixture of classes I have and that as I’m now four days a week I share every class bar one. I still don’t like sharing my classes, especially with colleagues who fail to communicate!

Maybe I’m feeling a little bit cheated because instead of the normal 6 weeks, we’ve only had 5 weeks and 2 days (Okay, I know I’m being a bit cheeky with this one!)

Maybe I’m dreading the tiredness that comes from working in a job where the vast majority of it is spent on my feet, moving from classroom to classroom, carrying all the resources I need for the day around with me.

Maybe it’s because I’m dreading the inevitable scene on Tuesday morning when I drop O off at nursery and he cries that he wants to stay with Mummy and I have to walk away, back to my car, with tears in my eyes.

Maybe it’s that when it comes down to it I want to be the one to look after O every day and be there for him whenever he needs me.  The past 5 and a bit weeks have been wonderful and I will be missing my boy so much next week.

In all honesty, it’s a combination of all of these things and as we inadvertently drove past my place of work earlier today I could feel my stomach tighten.  This time in a week I’m sure I’ll be back into the swing things and it won’t seem so bad but right now I’m dreading Monday morning and the return to work.

The Reading Residence
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12 Comments

  1. August 29, 2014 / 7:56 am

    Oh lovely, I’m so sorry to hear you feel like this, I hope you enjoy the weekend as much as you can and your first week isn’t too chaotic x #WotW
    Sharon Powell recently posted…Word of the Week 29/8/14My Profile

  2. August 29, 2014 / 10:39 am

    Aww! Hugs to you! Sorry you are feeling like this!
    I’m glad to hear it isn’t just me as a parent who hates it when teachers share classes and fail to communicate….
    Good luck! x
    Kim Carberry recently posted…We’ve been out!My Profile

  3. August 29, 2014 / 12:05 pm

    Sending hugs. Hope you have a relaxing weekend, and that the new term isn’t as bad as you fear x #WotW
    Leigh Kendall recently posted…HumbledMy Profile

  4. August 29, 2014 / 3:38 pm

    Your apprehension sounds completely understandable to me for all of those reasons. I hope, like you say, that this time next week you’ll be back in the swing of things and feeling a bit happier about it xx #wotw
    Caroline (Becoming a SAHM) recently posted…An emotional weekMy Profile

  5. August 29, 2014 / 5:18 pm

    I do hope Monday goes well for you, and that by this time next week, you will have settled back into it. I’m sure I’d be just the same and every one of those reasons sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Sending hugs x Thanks for sharing with #WotW
    thereadingresidence recently posted…Word of the Week – 29/8/14My Profile

  6. August 29, 2014 / 5:21 pm

    Oh bab. Monday morning will suck ass horribly but by lunch it will as if you never have been away. It is one of the weirdest feelings in the world. Schools are odd like that. Not to worry – half term is round the corner! xxx PS sharing is HORRIBLE!!!! xxx
    brummymummyof2 recently posted…A Day Out at the Birmingham Grand PrixMy Profile

  7. August 30, 2014 / 7:23 am

    Oh this made me sad reading it. I feel so sorry for you having to leave O and I know that feeling of anxiety when thinking about work/driving past/Sunday evenings…. I really hope that you get back into the swing of it and that you enjoy it xx
    You Baby Me Mummy recently posted…Mums’ List #26My Profile

  8. August 30, 2014 / 3:14 pm

    Really feel for you – time off as a teacher is wonderful but the return always dreaded and full of much anxiety. Like you I left at the end of term with still a load of unfinished tasks. Now I’m back I’m slowly getting through it. Hope things improve and you manage to get back on board and that your little one will settle.
    Helen recently posted…Word of the Week: DiagnosisMy Profile

  9. August 30, 2014 / 5:29 pm

    I find your post sad. It sounds like you are not living the way you would ideally like which is always a shame. I hope you take time for you to work out what the next best step for you would be and then to see if you can take steps towards it.
    Hoping it is not as bad as you fear next week
    Kate on thin ice recently posted…SharingMy Profile

  10. August 30, 2014 / 10:38 pm

    Aww, such emotion in your post and I can so empathise how awful it feels to be somewheree you don’t want to be, esp when all you want to do is hang on to your little one. I hope next week, when you’re in the swing of things, if feels slightly less daunting. And think about half term, some 7 weeks away. best of luck next week xx xx #wotw

  11. August 31, 2014 / 5:30 pm

    Awww I hope that things will start better for you tomorrow. I know how heartbreaking it is but we have to do these things. #wotw
    Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) recently posted…Last Day Of SummerMy Profile

  12. August 31, 2014 / 8:31 pm

    Aww bless you, I agree though lovely that within a week you will be back in the swing of things. I completely understand about the dropping little one off and he cries. It’s really tough isn’t it. On a positive note lovely, be really happy about your time off together. The fun you have had, the memories you have created. I’ve just spent a week with Lil G and I only wish it could have been for longer. x
    life as our little family recently posted…My Sunday Photo {31 August}My Profile

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