Is Someone Getting The Best Of You?

best

I shouldn’t really be writing this, I should be busy lesson planning and report writing and exam marking but I am  writing it so here goes.

Work has been a bit crazy of late.  The summer term always is with end of year tests and reports and this year we have the added bonus of a peer to peer review (a fancy name for a fake Ofsted inpection by other local heads).  A Mocksted, if you like.

At a time of year when everyone is exhausted, busy, stressed and with the knowledge that this date was handpicked by our head it has felt like a huge kick in the teeth.  Thanks for all you hard work but you need to work that little bit a lot harder.  In all honesty, if I didn’t have a mortgage to pay I think I would have walked last week as there is only so much that I can give and when it starts to affect my home life it makes me feel very uncomfortable.

My husband has noticed the difference in me the past couple of weeks.  I’m usually quite good at shaking off work when I get home, but at the moment I can’t.  When I was writing reports at 1:30 am on Monday morning because I couldn’t sleep I knew I’d reached my limit.

I’m generally quite a patient person, especially with the kids I teach.  I sometimes worry I show them more patience that I do my own son.  I try to always keep a calm and semi-relaxed atmosphere in my classroom but I have been snappy and the pupils have picked up on that vibe.  Saying that, the girl who thought it was acceptable to put her eye make up on in the middle of my lesson probably deserved my rant.

But my little boy doesn’t deserve a mum who is grumpy and stressed out.  He doesn’t need a mum who is rushing through his bedtime story to get back downstairs to her laptop and in doing that it has made me sad.  Why am I trying to give the best of myself to a job where your best will never be good enough?

I was talking about this to a teacher friend of mine yesterday and she helped to put things into a little bit of perspective.  O won’t remember that I was grumpy, he won’t hold a grudge against me for not reading the second story.  It is me who feels it a lot worse than he does.

So why do I stay in my job?  I stay so that we can afford to give my boy a lovely life.  I stay so we can book trips to Disneyland and holidays to Turkey.  He would still be a happy little boy without these things but it’s nice to have a few treats to look forward to.

Sometimes it takes having a chat with someone to see things a bit more clearly.  Yes, right now is too hectic for my liking, but it will soon be over.  In just over three weeks school is over and I get six wonderful weeks at home with my beautiful boy, and all this will be in the past.

He will be the one to get the best of me.

 

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8 Comments

  1. June 23, 2015 / 10:03 am

    You poor thing. Seriously. Former teacher here, and I did finally have to give it up because the stress was turning me into someone who couldn’t enjoy everyday life because work life was simply too much. I hope some much-deserved time with your family once the term is over helps you relax and shift focus.
    -Amy at http://www.momgoeson.wordpress.com
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  2. June 23, 2015 / 9:55 pm

    My bestie is a teacher and although I envy the holidays off work I don’t envy the job, the stress and the work you have to take home. It’s not easy but your friend is right – he won’t remember – he’ll remember the fun times, the summers and the best of you x
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  3. Vickie from 29 year old mama
    June 24, 2015 / 6:06 am

    I really wish I was a teacher and in my next life I will be! Nursing is really family unfriendly and I feel we never get the quality time. 2 weeks at the end of August and counting….. So just a bit longer for us to be grumpy here! Enjoy your time together! Vx

  4. June 24, 2015 / 5:39 pm

    Ah Jo, I don’t know how you teachers do it, it has to be so difficult as you take everything home with you. My husband works every night and most of the weekend, we have to fit around what he has to get done, it wouldn’t be so bad but you don’t even get the respect you deserve anymore! It won’t be long until the summer hols, just think of all that time off with little O and you know as he gets older he’ll look forward to your fun summers together! xxx
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  5. June 27, 2015 / 5:37 pm

    Hang in there lovely, as the saying goes: this too shall pass. These mad weeks will be over very soon and you’ll have some quality time with your wonderful boy. I think they really bring us back down don’t they? I have been horrid this week after finding out I have yet another couple of things wrong and z actually patted my back and stroked my head and said “is that better mummy?” Then I bawled some more! 🙂 Sending you big hugs. This end of term time is mental for parents, I have no idea how teachers handle it. Xx
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  6. June 30, 2015 / 7:57 pm

    Gosh that’s hard work. I hope it doesn’t last. Enjoy the break when it comes. You are right, they don’t remember the odd bit of tiredness here and there so don’t worry. You’re doing a fab job at it all 🙂 Jess x
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  7. July 14, 2015 / 3:35 pm

    You seem to have a very good handle on everything Jo. I nearly became a teacher myself. My son was 2 and I was offered a lace on a PGCE primary course but backed out at the last minute. I don’t think I’ve got the ability to deal with stress and I know from teacher friends that the workload can be very stressful. I’m awful at late nights and don’t sleep if I’ve been up late working on a PC…in short I’d be hopeless. It sounds like you’re a great teacher and a great mum. I’m so grateful to all you teachers because without you, where would our children be? xx
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